I'm addicted..

I love blogging. I can't get enough. I think everyone in the world should do this. But they shouldn't be writing about politics and all of the woes of the world. That's what CNN, MSNBC, NPR, FOX News (Conservatism at its finest! [finger down throat]) and the 500 Club are for. What everyone should be writing about is sex, love, lies and human imperfection.

This was originally posted on my AOL webpage on 23 July 2000

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July 23, 2000


This week, there were many a subject to choose from: My flight to San Francisco on Delta (it sucked hard), big government and it's overspending ways (a little too deep), offensive racial slurs (I think next week will be this one.. Hey Hillary….!) and, finally, oral sex (namely, cunnulingus). I don't know if you guessed it or not, but I decided to opt for the oral sex.

Why did I choose this topic you asked? It all spurred from a conversation I had with a few friends around a table at Chevy's in downtown San Francisco (a nice little Mexican place, I must say). One of the guys brought up the subject of oral sex and how he feels it's wrong to "go downtown" on a woman. First, his reasoning behind it was that, maybe, if a guy does the deed, could he possibly do it to a man? I scoffed at that. After minutes of prodding, we found out the real reason; he felt it was wrong due to the fact that the man was in a subservient position (on his knees, his back, whatever) giving a woman pleasure. I quickly interjected.

I had to make a point that was not only convincing, but absolutely true. Now, you women know how much this act gives pleasure. I'm sure you'd like to find a guy that not only likes to perform the act, but does it well enough to at least get something going on. I had to disagree with him wholeheartedly because first, it's not subservient. If anything, the man has all the power in performing this act. And, second, his feeling of it being a subservient act only goes to prove how he had much deeper issues other than "petting the pink kitty," if you know what I mean.

We argued for almost an hour (like his girlfriend did, as he pointed out) about this. I put bullet holes in his paper-thin defense. I reiterated how pleasurable it was for me to give to the woman this selfless pleasure and how much it made me feel good. He didn't understand. In fact, he pointed out that he did just fine and that he had no complaints… Well, duh! Women are funny that way in the fact they cover those things up as to not hurt feelings or squash egos. Likening it to baseball, if all you threw were curve balls, eventually the batter will figure it out and hit it every time. Soon, you'll be pitching in the triple-A's. You gotta learn the oral pleasures, people! So… no oral fun… No more girlfriend.

I know, some of you women are thinking.. there's more to life than sex.. Yes, there is, but sex is still a part of it and, admit it, you'd leave if all you were doing was the missionary. Hello! Variety!

Anyway, for you guys out there who think it's sick or wrong to go down to the little "Folds of Glory", get a clue! This one simple act will not only get her jumping on your face for more, but will get her to do things to you you'd normally never get. But, learn how to do it properly. It takes practice. No biting, tickling, poking at it asking, "What's this??" Instant turn-off. There are books on the subject (you won't find it at your local library, of course) and I'd highly suggest you pick one up. If anything, do it because you like to do it. If you don't, at least do it so that you can hold it against her so she'll give you what you want.

In the end, my motto's always been, "it's better to give than to receive." Of course, he still disagrees.