Monday, August 20, 2007

WalMart is Evil

And they suck.

Need there be an explanation?? I didn't think so.

That is all.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Pine Trees and Soliloquies

A soliloquy is defined as an audible oratory or conversation with oneself. It is a term that is typically applied to theatrical characters engaged in a monologue, but can also be a term that is simply descriptive of any occurrence when one talks with oneself. (definition source: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soliloquies)

Though I've got nothing to say about pine trees, except maybe that they smell good and, for some reason, make me want to mop the floor, I must admit that I have been talking to myself as of late.. a lot.. (The title, by the way, rhymed and I thought it was cute)

I've been doing a lot of driving lately and in those times between destinations I often think out loud (and, I'm sure the people who watch from other cars wonder who I'm talking to, sans mobile and earpiece). More absurdly, I reply back to my ramblings. Almost like a heated debate, I volley arguments at an imaginary wall where they bounce off and back to me. It's like verbal tennis against a backstop. The subjects are pretty mundane and, I assure you, aren't very important. Well, maybe some of them but still.. I won't bore you. Well, maybe a little bit.

Like, is Xanadu really the downfall of major civilization? I didn't think so, myself. I mean, Olivia Newton-John may have made a career-damaging mistake in starring in this movie and it probably drove Gene Kelly to an early death but, no, I don't think civilization is worse off because this film exists. Besides, ELO's wonderful soundtrack is brilliant. It could save mankind if put to the test. 15-Love.

Does chocolate reside in its own food group (called Chocolate)? If we were to look at the Food Group chart, we will see that grains, meats, vegatables and fruits all have their own groups. But, no one really notices the small (it's barely there but if you look hard, you'll see it. No, that's not a speck of dust. No! It's RIGHT THERE!) section labeled CHOCOLATE. Yes, chocolate is a food group. It has its own benefits to humankind and can be used in so many ways (ways I will not expound upon at this time). What? You don't see the section labeled Chocolate? Funny, it's on my Food Group chart - the latest one even, where the Government revised what foods should be eaten on a regular basis. Well, maybe it's drawn in on mine. It's my reality and therefore true. 15-ALL.

As I was driving to Comic Con last week, I had this great conversation with myself about the affects of carrots and peas on the adolescent child and why they shouldn't be served in school lunches and how, especially, they shouldn't be served TOGETHER (mixed). Sure, the colors are pretty but is it really necessary to mix them together? No. What affect they have on the child is really irrelevant at this time. All I'll say is.. therapy. 30-15.

One thing that I really do get overworked about is how certain people perceive of me. Obviously, one has to be important for me to really give a shit about what they think. I think, at the time of this conversation, people were steering well clear of my car. I don't know, but I think my swerving coupled with the fervent yelling in the car might have had something to do with that. 30-ALL.

I'm not big on labels. I'm embarassed at times to use them. But, for fuck's sake, people use them. Why is society so bent on having to label everything? It's hard not to get around that. I personally enjoy the label "Do Not Ingest with Alcohol." I almost had to pull over for this one. 30-40.

When hand gestures are used, it becomes harder to drive. I was thoroughly convinced that UFOs are visiting my home at night. So much so that I was pointing to the sky, making weird hand movements (flight paths and whatnot) and shrieking, "DAMN YOU, E.T.! DAMN YOU!!" It was my Charlton Heston moment for all of I-5 to see. Luckily, people were already staying clear of me at this time to really see my foolish drama. GAME: INSANITY.

Yes, sometimes I have these moments. Don't you?

Oh and on a side note. I've recently met a woman who I really fancy. Though she doesn't make me think about silly things such as the above (well, maybe a little bit but not necessarily the aforementioned silliness) she does make me think. And I really enjoy that. I can't recall the last time anyone has done that for me in recent history. I often find myself mulling over conversations she and I have had, analyzing them and making mental notes. She may not have me on physical strength but she can surely kick my ass mentally (Okay, she can probably kick my ass physically, too, but I won't go there).