I'm listening to Adam Ant at this moment.

Fortunately, Adam Ant has nothing to do with this entry. I'm listening to a song by the Butthole Surfers now, anyway.. it's called Kuntz. I'm on the fence about it. I think it's Vietnamese or maybe it's some other Asian language. Hell.. who cares? And now it's the Bangles. Walk Like an Egyptian. I really need to fix the order in which the songs play on my WinAmp player. I digress.


I work near LAX. So during my lunch break, I'll often drive to the beach to enjoy the quiet atmosphere (minus the planes flying over and the water breaking on the beach) because there aren't many people there during work hours. It offers me time to think, reflect and to enjoy the moment.

Today, there was a film crew there getting ready to film scenes for a movie or tv show. Sorry, don't know which or for what but.. I wasn't really too interested. I was more interested in the planes flying overhead. Though the noise was deafening, it was somewhat fascinating to watch these behemoths soar overhead to an unknown destination.

Anyway.. I love the beach. There's something about the sand, the water, the wind, the scent.. It's all intoxicating. I was at the Manhattan Beach pier yesterday. I watched as the surfers tried to catch mediocre waves. This is the one thing I'm going to miss about this job - being able to get to the beach just to hang out. It's a temp job, by the way. I start my real job on Monday.

And getting back to the airplanes taking off from LAX. It's just fucking awesome. There are spots along different streets adjacent to the airport where people just watch the planes take off. It's such a simple pleasure. I prefer watching from the beach myself but one can see the actual take-offs and landings from these street locations. I can watch them from the parking structure next to my building, actually. It's pretty sweet. I've always liked airports, airplanes and the sound of jets roaring along the tarmac. These and more bring back childhood memories of traveling the world (I was 4.. the world could've been a trip to Pacoima for all knew).

I'm feeling calm. Content. Secure. I'm feeling fucking awesome.

I'll add the pictures later. They're on my phone. Until then, I'll just enjoy Erasure's Love to Hate You, which is now playing.

Oh how divine..

Today I stopped by a favorite place - a local wine bar. I just wanted to get a glass before going home (I went shopping for new clothes.. NEW CLOTHES! Giddy, I tell you).

It was absolutely brilliant.

With it, I had the Three Cheese Ravioli. I savored it. Each bite was rich, soft, succulent. Each morsel a joy. I closed my eyes with each bite, I masticated slowly.

The wine tasted of apples and pears. Of course, that's what it says in the little cork-covered menu. This time I tasted it. The acidity of the Pinot Gris. The tannens. So good.

Sometimes, deliberately eating something can be so enjoyable. Sit and eat with purpose. Enjoy each bite. Savor it. I did, for once. Wonderful.

Everything You Wanted to Know but...

Actually, the title is misleading. There's nothing here you wanted to know and I'm certainly not going to tell you if you ask. Well, it may depend on what you ask but otherwise.. no.

So today was just one of those days.. I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the planet or something but it just wasn't a good day. I was rather unhappy today. Maybe it was something that happened in my childhood or something that came back to haunt me (doubt it, but it sounds good, right?) but I was just not a happy camper. My mood was just horrible. So, I decided to go out.. have a few drinks and watch Boston clinch the World Series (at the time of this writing, they hadn't yet.. but, I'm sure they will). A few beers, a nice dinner (fish. It was rather nice) and some chocolate cake (a little dry, but the ice cream helped).

The highlight of my day was just making fun of the emo kids under my breath as they passed in droves. I've decided that from now on, I shall refer to them as emotards. They know not what emo is. They've bastardized the concept. They're all so fucking stupid. They should Wikipedia that shit and realize that they're just whiney little brats with bad haircuts.

A word to you emotards... make the world a happier place. Go kill yourselves.

Hmm, that kind of takes away the wind from my whole I'm-not-a-happy-camper rant. Well, fuck that. I'm not emo. I don't sport eyeliner, black make up and tight black stretch pants. With a white belt. Goths do it so much better anyway. Fucking emotards.

Anyway, I have some issues I need to sort out. And those issues are sending me full tilt. And I'm not liking it. Seriously, I need to start meditating. Oh yeah, one needs privacy for that. Or at least a quiet space. I'm going to break out in six months. I've decided to move up my timetable (it was a year). I've got nothing better to do anyway.

Well, this entry has gotten all scattered.. I guess I'll just take the vodka bottle and have myself a few shots before calling it a night. It's going to be a busy week.

Haiku for a new generation

Sometimes, when I'm bored, I like to write haiku. I present to you a new batch for your consideration.

Halloween Candy
Abundant like seawater
Temporary Lapse

A warm wet feeling
Crimson dripping to the floor
Shower stream comforts

Multivitamins
Beneficial little pills
Streaming yellow pee

No more tomorrow
Greater sense of urgency
It's time for coffee

I'm feeling creme-filled
But it's really strawberries
Champagne and O.J.

Under the white skirt
The green g-string underwear
Nightmares in my sleep

The pinprick of light
So far down the corridor
Beginning and end

So much to do...

There is a saying... live each day as if it were your last. I now have this urge, a want.. a need to live as though my life were going to end tomorrow. But..

I don't know where to start.

I have many paths to choose from. I don't know which one to take first, which one to discard, which one to come back to. Damn it, I wish life wasn't so.. linear.

In any case, I have a desire to take one. Before, it was like.. hmm.. those look like neat little pathways. I wonder where they lead. Now, it's.. Fuck! I need to go that way! But, I don't really know which way that 'way' is. Now is the time to change that. It doesn't matter anymore which way to go. Just pick one. And have fun with it. If it's not the right path, choose another. Don't dwell. After all, there isn't enough time for that.. especially if you're gonna die tomorrow.

Oh.. and if you get a chance, tell someone you're fond of you'd like to spend the night with them. You won't know until you try. And if they say 'no' or.. better yet.. don't believe you -- keep trying.

Frustration makes the world go 'round

"Sex is like pizza. Even when it's bad, it's still good."
--Unknown

I've been thinking about it a lot lately. The act of sex. Making love. Coitus (I'm sure it's Latin but.. WTF?! Coitus? It sounds like the noise a bedspring would make when you sit on a squeaky bed. An onomatopoeia, if you will). The horizontal mambo. Fucking.

Whatever you call it, it's been two fucking years since I've had it. And now that I've been talking about it more with someone of the female persuasion, it brings the fact home that I'm missing it. A lot.

Sex is a beautiful thing. It's a primal thing. It's an act that two people (or more, if you're into that sort of thing) participate in using instinct and learned technique to gratify one another. It's something two people do to share themselves with each other. It's something that releases tension. It's self-expression. It's teaching and learning. It's just fucking awesome (is there a double entendre in there?).

When you meet someone you think you can get nekkid with, it's a wonderful thing. Of course, there are those out there that can get nekkid with anyone and can pretty much share themselves with two or three wonderful cuties a week (some, a day.. you guys are just crazy). But some of us think it's a little more special than that and no matter how much we want it, we have to wait until there is a special moment to do it.

But goddamn it! I'm about to go crazy! And masturbation only goes so far.

I guess I'll just have to kick it up a notch.. Masturbation 5x a week.. Maybe twice a day..

Note to self: Buy more lotion.