Oh it's almost over!

The holidays are nearly at their end. Thanksgiving, Christmas and now the New Year.

This was a terrible year. Just terrible. And I'm glad to see it off with a flurry of alcohol consumption. The new year shall be wonderful, as I say each year. I don't have any resolutions to speak of. I don't believe in them anymore. In fact, I really don't believe in this "New Year's" crap, either. It's just another day in a long line of days that go on indefinitely.

But, I shall have to post the Top 10 resolutions I feel are just over the top, too hard not to laugh at. For now, though, I shall enjoy the next 5 days away from work.

Oh, there is one thing I shall do come Jan 1st. I'm going to give up meat again. It has led me astray and that's unacceptable. And, since it is a starting point per se, I do have big plans this coming year, since I botched them all up this past year.

So my bitches.. be safe and don't die.

Laguna Beach: Bah haha!

Oh the irony - Laguna Beach sued for its treatment of the homeless.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/12/23/national/main4685135.shtml?source=RSSattr=HOME_4685135

Education: Is it really worth it?

Finally. This semester is over, though I think it went by rather quickly. I just finished (about 3 hours ago, that is) my Logic final. I think I'll get a decent grade in the class, though I am kind of disappointed I didn't do better. It's not like I couldn't do better. Again, I have a problem with applying myself to things I'm not emotionally attached to. School and emotion do not mix.

For me, logic wasn't that difficult (except for all of the truth tables and math-like symbolic equations) but I feel kind of disappointed in myself. I know I could have done better, especially in the debates we had. For what it's worth, I did do well considering the lack of preparation. I don't know if I should brag about that or not.

In my other class (Intro to Philosophy), I got an A. I'm one of 6 people in a class of 52 that got an A. Yet, I know I could have done better. When I saw the highest score, and it wasn't mine, I felt somewhat lacking. Yet, I didn't try there either.

Don't get me wrong. I thoroughly enjoyed philosophy. But I didn't really apply myself.

I know I should do better. I've a few more semesters before I transfer to Uni. I have to get the other, more shitty, classes out of the way.. like science and math. Ick. And to think, I actually liked math when I was a kid.

But, for now, I'm happy to be taking Ethics and (get this) Religions of the West. I'm seriously considering focusing my studies on religion.

I better get on the ball. I want to take this to Masters. How am I going to get into [muffled] if I have lousy grades?

Assisted Suicide: Is it right or wrong?

After reading the article, Why I want my husband's death in a suicide clinic shown on TV... he wanted to get people thinking and talking about it (that's one fucking long-ass title!), I got to thinking.. is it wrong to assist one in committing suicide? Is it, especially if they're going to die from a horrible disease eventually?

No, it isn't wrong. Nor is it wrong to take your own life. In any case.

There are those out there that think we have the right to life. Well, no duh. Everyone has a right to live (this is not a doorway into the anti-abortion argument. Do not go there). I think that right is a given. In fact, it shouldn't even be up for debate. It's a given, much like how the world is round, the sky is blue and water makes things wet. There is no room for debate. Since it's a given, a fundemental right, what about the right to die? Don't we have the right to die? We're all going to die anyway. Why can't we control it?

I've toyed with the idea of suicide many numerous amount of times. It's something I think about from time to time even now. If I want to jump off the Golden Gate, take a bunch of pills, put a gun to my head (messy, but effective) I should be able to without some religious zealot (because it usually is) or some moral majority nutjob telling me it's wrong.

Why is it wrong? If I don't believe in your god, your morals or your ideals, why must I take the stance that suicide is wrong? Are the Japanese wrong for thinking it's honorable for killing one's self? Are the the desperate and desolate wrong for having only one more choice in life? Are those who just don't have anything more to live for wrong, too? No.

Sure, some people have no business offing themselves; it can be premature and some people are just too into drama to realize that they have other avenues to persue. Don't get me wrong, I don't think one should just take the road to self-killing straight away. There should be some thought involved, some reflection on the situation. It shouldn't be the first option. It should, though, be a viable option.

As Phyllis Bowman, of Right to Life, said in the article: 'This is promoting assisted suicide. What kind of effect do they imagine it is going to have on a depressive. It undermines the vulnerable and it also undermines people's right to life.'

Does it really? Are the vulnerable undermined? More so, does it undermine our right to life? As if people, who are happy and content to be alive will now go and jump off a cliff because suicide, specifically assisted suicide, will undermind their right to live? Bollocks, as they say in Britain. Absolute bollocks.

Note to self..

Make sure, when going out, that you never go out on a school night.. or in this case, a work night.. Sunday is a work night, right?

A few friends and I donned our tuxedos (I had the cool, white dinner jacket) and went out on the town. First, the Cicada Club. The Cicada Club is this little gem in downtown LA, a period place that one who is into the 20's and 30's and all times in between would go to. A dinner joint mainly, the place is only open on Sunday nights. The music is Big Band and the booze is Bourbon.

From there, we went to the Bordello, also in LA. This place is really cool; it was the first actual bordello in Los Angeles. One can only guess what debauchery took place within these walls. Anyway.. Sunday nights feature the burlesque show, and a fancy one indeed. Again, the theme is 20's and 30's.

Let me tell you something. When one is wearing a tuxedo, people notice. In fact, when one wears a suit that stands out (for my friends and I, it's usually period), people notice. And they comment.. usually in the positive. Of course, you'll always have the pricks who have to make the smart comment, but they usually get a smart comment back.. or the finger. More so the finger, I think. But it's a respectful finger.

Did I forget to mention that there was a lot of drinking? I not as much as my two mates, but I did imbibe a few cocktails.

So, next, it was the Goth/Industrial club called Malediction. It's smack dab in the middle of Koreatown. I try to stay out of K Town; lots of bad memories.. or vague memories I should say (there's this one time where I went to a Korean bar with a buddy and his cousin.. apparently, I did some weird things. Yogurt-flavored Soju is not my friend).

When everyone is wearing black and mesh, a white dinner jacket stands out quite a bit. The irony here is that these people.. these goth and industrial kids.. get stared at all the time because of how they dress, getting smirks and comments here and there.. and they're staring at us? Smirking at us? Yeah...

The exciting, most interesting part of the evening was when I started dancing. Industrial music isn't like other music one dances to. It's more primal. One does not have to dance with others; it can be done totally alone. And there aren't any "moves". One just goes with however one wants to dance. The memories of Kontrol Factory (for those not in the know, an LA Indust club in the 90's I went to.. a lot) flooded my head. I think that was the last time I danced to to Industrial. Picture a guy in a tux (white jacket, mind you) flailing arms, kicking legs and on the verge of spirit fingers. Oh yeah.. spirit fingers.

So, after a brief nap at 3am, I leave my buddy's place at 4.30, get home at 5 to sleep, wake up at 7 and get to work at 8.30. Why I haven't gone to bed yet I don't know.. but I haven't done that since.. well, the mid 90's. I rock.

I need to do that more (but not on Sundays). But I'll don the black tux next time. And a necktie instead of a bow tie. A red necktie. Not that there's anything wrong with bow ties.

Bow ties rock.

Remembering..

I was reading a blog about the late Robert Steinberg. He was a doctor turned chocolatier who recently died of cancer. He and a partner of his created the ScharffenBerger brand, an American chocolate maker that specializes in dark chocolate. I was recently reading a blog about his recent passing and the stories, anecdotes and other tidbits others had about him. (On a side note, I had heard about his passing on NPR the day after he had died. I did not know who he was but he seemed like an awesome guy)

Reading the blog, it got me thinking about how others perceive me and how they will remember me when I'm gone. Then, it occured to me that I want to be remembered positively and with fondness; I want people to have good stories about me when I'm gone.

I know people think I'm an asshole. And I know people think I'm a pussy. But I don't know whether people would cry for me or not when I'm being buried. I don't know if people will have a beer in my honour after the funeral or if people will joke about the many stunts they and I went through when we had our fun.

I don't know if people will even say they loved me.

I want to be something more. I've stated this before. But, I don't want to go out of my way to achieve greatness, like many have in the past. If it happens, awesome. If not, meh. I can live with that, I guess. But the one thing I hope is that my friends love me and those whose paths I've crossed never forgot me. I hope I've enriched at least one person's life in this world. If I've done that, my life hasn't been a complete waste.

Teh OC needed a fire, too..

I guess the dry, fire-prone brush just couldn't be left alone here in the OC. Out in Yorba Linda, someone retard had to go and set it ablaze. I happened to be out in the Yorba Linda area and snapped some photos..

This last photo was taken from by bedroom window. I'm not sure but... this one looks a little closer to me. I'm wondering if someone set the damn hillside behind me on fire too, just to be funny.

I'm not laughing.

No, I'm not a cripple..

(though I've been feeling like it for the last few days, after all the rigorous activity I've been partaking in).

So I was out in Westwood tonight.. just got back from a night of James Bond 007 action. The new flick starring Daniel Craig is a must see. Damn, he is by far the best James Bond since Sean Connery. Even better than that old rag Roger Moore. Anyway, I digress.

So, I get there at 7p and I sit all the way in the back in those seats reserved for the handicapped. Some people say that they're 'handicapable'. I say they should handi-shut-the-fuck-up.

Anyway, there's this old woman sitting in one of the seats across from me. It went down like this:

Old bag: Hey, are you handicapped?

Me: Uh, no?

Old bag: That seat is labeled 'handicapped'. It's for handicapped people.

Me: Well, if a handicapped person comes by, I will gladly give up my seat.

Old bag: Well, I'm handicapped and I resent you sitting there.

Me: Okay. You do that.

Movie plays, ends, I get up, leave and I end up running into Mr. Movie Fone. Again. Him and Leonard Maltin seem to be at every screening I go to lately. Fortunately, he didn't get overrunned (is that a word? I dunno) by the papperazzi that was sitting outside the movie theatre. It's fortunate, because I was bee-lining it to the parking structure right behind him. It does make me wonder who they were waiting for. Tangent. Not important.

Anyhoo, to the old lady watching Quantum of Solace across from me: why the fuck didn't you yell at the young lady, who didn't look like a cripple to me, that sat next to you midway through the film? I know - you were discriminating againsts me because I'm a man. That's it. A young man. It's okay. I'll be old one day.. and possibly crippled like you. Karma seems to work in mysterious ways. But, until then...

Nah nah nah nah nah nah! [tongue out / funny face]

I'm such an asshole.

Just voted.

So, I just got home from voting. I was frantic trying to make sure I left work early (for fuck's sake, the drive took forever!) to get home. Everything went wrong all at once and I had to do training in one city, drive to another to hear a customer vent, then do training in the office for the stupid sales reps. I don't mean stupid stupid.. I mean idiot stupid.

If you don't know, you are allowed to either come into work late or leave early to vote. It is the law. I was hoping my boss would give me a hard time so I could go HR on his ass. Twas not the case.

I didn't vote Obama, as I said before. And I voted NO ON 8 (and 4 and the animal initiative, the number I forgot). I pretty much voted NO on most of them.

I was anticipating long lines. I was in and out in 15 minutes. Very nice.

So, I hope you people voted and I hope you voted with your interests at heart, not with "Oh he's so cute" or "Oh, he's not a socialist" in mind.

On another note: I knew it. I called it. I blogged it. I knew turn out for this election would be stellar. I told people as far back as a year and a half ago that this election would be key. It would be one of magnitude. Young people, old people, all people would be out in droves to vote for this one. And I knew it. I said it. It gives me faith in the public. It makes me feel like the give a shit for once.

I'm going to the gym now, with my I VOTED sticker on my shirt. :-)

Sigh..

I have just finished the last of my bottle of vodka. A bottle of vodka that I've had for the last year and a half. A bottle of vodka given to me by an old friend that was more than just a friend. A bottle that reminds me of things I shouldn't be thinking about. And I think about these stupid things and stupid people and stupid decisions and stupid everything. All because of this stupid bottle of vodka. And I haven't even talked to this friend in almost a year. What kind of fucking friend am I?

So, now I'm kind of buzzed. But, not enough. So, I'm going to hit the absinthe, which I won't need much of because of its potency. And I'll probably pass out from it. But not before I ramble on a bit here.

I don't care about the election. We already know who's going to win. And even if Obama doesn't win, it's not like anything would be different. Why? Because these people aren't the ones who run the country, it's the people who advise the President who run the country. Presidents come and go; advisers stay the same. There are pretty powerful people behind the scenes; the ones we don't hear about, the ones that don't want to be heard about. Obama. McCain. They're the face, maybe even half a brain. They may even be the ones who THINK they're making the decisions. But they're not. So, it doesn't matter who becomes president because it's going to be the same regardless. And it probably won't affect me either way. But I'll vote. And I'll vote neither for the GOP nor the Dems. And if you think I'm wasting my vote, then fuck you. I'm not. I'm exercising my right to vote for the candidate who best represents my interests. And if you're simply voting for a candidate because he's the lesser of two evils, then you're the one wasting your vote.

The last of the bottle of vodka is getting to me. Drinking and Grey's Anatomy don't mix.

Is this all there is? Wake up, get dressed, go to work, come home, do mundane shit and then go to bed? Maybe a party, maybe a function; some school thrown in to learn something and then? What the fuck am I doing here? And the live-to-the-ripe-old-age-to-55 just to see that I've wasted my fucking life? Hell, I don't need to live that long to know that my life has already been wasted.

Geeze, I should really write my friend. I'm glad she's in another country.. Otherwise, I could text her.. or call.. or better yet.. show up to her door and say.. Hey.. what's up? But I can't. There are closer people I could do that to but.. what's the point in that?

I should really write.

Ya know.. I never heard my father laugh. Not once. Not one belly laugh, not one har har.. nothing.. a smirk, maybe.. a 'heh'.. but no laugh. I don't even know what my father's laugh sounded like. I thought about this today as I laughed while enjoying a funny monologue . I laughed. Did my father's laughs sound like mine (or vice versa)? I don't know. This strikes me as terribly sad. I'm actually beside my self. It saddens me.

This rant was brought to you by the letters 'who' and 'cares'.

And the last bits of a stupid fucking bottle of vodka.

Stupidity should not be rewarded.

Folks,

When you pull that virtual lever this year, make sure that your vote goes anywhere but to John McCain. Otherwise, you will reward stupidity. And, if you do that, god will kill a kitten. Horribly.

It's bad enough god kills a kitten when one masturbates.

(Ok, it's a joke. God doesn't kill kittehs because god doesn't exist. But a vote for McCain is a vote rewarding stupidity.)

Prop 8.. continued

I'm really hating the commercials that LIE about Prop 8. Seems that there is a couple in Massachusetts that has a son who complained about learning that two boys can marry, and the parents couldn't do anything about it. Well, first, this isn't Mass. And second, if for some reason there was teaching like this in school, the parents can take their child out of school.

Fail.

Prop 8 propaganda is rather irritiating. Fuck those right-winged moral majority fucktards. I can't wait until Nov 5 when, on the news, they're shown all butt hurt as they realize their proposition dropped though the floor like a lead wedding wing.

Fucking assholes. Makes me want to drive my fist through a wall... and into a bigot.

A Truth..

No amount of alcohol will make a woman more hot. Alcohol just makes the woman more doable.


I figured this out tonight when I had too much to drink while doing homework at a local bar.

Yes, I'm currently under the influence. However, I'm not enough under the influence to need spell check or a non-think filter.

Or a barf bag.

If it were only Friday.

I really need to find a liberal, intelligent woman to date.

Have you registered to vote?

I have. I had to because I moved since the last time I voted. And YOU need to make sure you're registered to vote. You MUST register before the 20th of October if you live in the state of California. Rock the Vote (http://www.rockthevote.org/) is a good place to register if you need to.

Neither of the candidates for president is worth voting for. Not even less of two evils because both are too evil.

And I say again -- VOTE NO on PROP 8. NO NO NO NO PROP 8 NO NO NO NO.

http://www.noonprop8.com/

No, I'm not gay. I just hate those who think their brand of morality should be adhered to by everyone.

The following was taken from their website:

Facts v. Fiction

Proponents of Prop 8 continue to lie in their television ads.

Here’s what’s fiction and what’s fact:

Fiction: Teaching children about same-sex marriage will happen here unless we pass Prop 8.

Fact: Not one word in Prop 8 mentions education, and no child can be forced, against the will of their parents, to be taught anything about health and family issues at school. California law prohibits it, and the Yes on 8 campaign knows they are lying. Sacramento Superior Court Judge Timothy Frawley has already ruled that this claim by Prop 8 proponents is “false and misleading.”

Fiction: Churches could lose their tax-exemption status.

Fact: Nothing in Prop 8 would force churches to do anything. In fact, the court decision regarding marriage specifically says “no religion will be required to change its religious policies or practices with regard to same-sex couples, and no religious officiant will be required to solemnize a marriage in contravention of his or her religious beliefs.”

Fiction: A Massachusetts case about a parent’s objection to the school curriculum will happen here.

Fact: Unlike Massachusetts, California gives parents an absolute right to remove their kids and opt-out of teaching on health and family instruction they don’t agree with. The opponents know that California law already covers this and Prop 8 won’t affect it, so they bring up an irrelevant case in Massachusetts.

Fiction: Four Activist Judges in San Francisco…

Fact: Prop 8 is not about courts and judges, it’s about eliminating a fundamental right. Judges didn’t grant the right, the constitution guarantees the right. Proponents of Prop 8 use an outdated and stale argument that judges aren’t supposed to protect rights and freedoms. This campaign is about whether Californians, right now, in 2008 are willing to amend the constitution for the sole purpose of eliminating a fundamental right for one group of citizens.

Fiction: People can be sued over personal beliefs.

Fact: California’s laws already prohibit discrimination against anyone based on race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. This has nothing to do with marriage.

Fiction: Pepperdine University supports the Yes on 8 campaign.

Fact: The university has publicly disassociated itself from Professor Richard Peterson of Pepperdine University, who is featured in the ad, and has asked to not be identified in the Yes on 8 advertisements.

Fiction: Unless Prop 8 passes, CA parents won’t have the right to object to what their children are taught in school.

Fact: California law clearly gives parents and guardians broad authority to remove their children from any health instruction if it conflicts with their religious beliefs or moral convictions.

I just want to scream!!

If my emotions were somehow a physical piece of my body I would seriously amputate.

Things..

Why is it that I always have to reflect after an episode of Grey's Anatomy?

I aced my Logic/Critical Thinking midterm. Just because I was the third to the last person to finish means everyone else gave up and will fail.

Being positive is hard in a negative world. I often have to step back to realize that I'm just a realistic person in an apathetic world.

I hate. I hate a lot. I will continue to hate until I can hate no longer. I fear that point will be at death.

I want to live in a loft in Downtown Los Angeles because it's cool and independent and away from here.

I enjoy learning. I enjoy life when I learn something. I learn something everyday. Therefore, I enjoy life.

Maybe I should follow David Duchovny's lead.

Miley Cyrus and I don't share the same birthday. Thank god.

Twitter has become almost an obsession.

I like the train.

I've realized it's never too late to be great. Some just give up too soon.

Fuck Obama. And McCain. Both are epic fails.

"Epic Fail". I like it.

There are things I miss dearly. There's nothing wrong with missing things. Just don't let that stop you from progressing.

Happy New Year.

Just because I don't believe in god doesn't mean you shouldn't. Just be ready to defend your beliefs when I attack them.

More to the point: just be ready to defend your beliefs when I attack them.

If you close your eyes and plug your ears, the world will cease to exist. Don't do it too long because the rest of us are waiting.

Reflection. I should be at the gym.

Happy Birthday to Me!

This time last year: recovering from a hellish night of drinking, spending too much money on a hotel room so that parties involved did not have to drive (if anyone was at all coherent).

This year: Going to try to do the same thing. Except, NO hotel room and NO chicks.

On a side note.. Drama at work is at a highpoint. Found out a coworker totally dissed another coworker. The disser (male) thought he was gonna get some from the dissee (female) after helping dissee move. The disser was rejected and now the dissee has to find someone to help her move. Epic fail. I am not one to comment on these things, but the disser has absolutely NO game. And now the whole office knows it. What a fucking moron.

Fuck this bailout bullshit

I will NOT have my tax dollars bail out greedy motherfuckers who wish to gamble with their money in order to make more of it. And you shouldn't either.

Now the rest of the world is pointing fingers at us saying we need to fix the problem. Fuck them, too. You got into the global economy. Deal with it.

Why must We, the People, have to pay for capitalistic greed gone wild? Did they share with us their profits when they were making all of that money? No!

Let the market crash. Let everyone lose everything. And then let it all stabilize, regain itself and move on. Companies rise and fall everyday. It's time some of those fat cats fall hard on their asses.

It's bad enough I have to pay for a shitty war I never approved.

Philosophy 100: Does god exist?

My favourite subject has come up in philosophy class. Does god exist? To which I wrote the following:

What is god?

The Miriam-Webster dictionary online defines 'God' as:

1 capitalized : the supreme or ultimate reality: as a: the Being perfect in power, wisdom, and goodness who is worshipped as creator and ruler of the universe b: Christian Science : the incorporeal divine Principle ruling over all as eternal Spirit : infinite Mind
2: a being or object believed to have more than natural attributes and powers and to require human worship ; specifically : one controlling a particular aspect or part of reality
3: a person or thing of supreme value
4: a powerful ruler

I would add to that that 'God' is omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient. So, god should be all-powerful, all encompassing and all-knowing. Let's not forget omnibenevolent, or all good. For arguments sake, let's assume we're talking about the Abrahamic god; the god of the Jews, Christians and Muslims. Otherwise, we may get confused with one of the THOUSANDS of other gods worshipped today.

God is the uncreated creator and ruler of the universe. He (I say 'he', though I don't believe god would have a gender) created the planets, stars and everything we see around us. He created us in his image and gave man, via Adam, control of this planet and all that live on it.

Besides being everywhere and knowing everything, he is benevolent. He is pure goodness, the yin to the yang of evil. He loves and cares for all of his children (us), though it isn't his fault that people suffer, die tragically or go to hell.

So, do I believe in god? No. I find god to be a myth, like all other deities before it. Christianity (and Judaism) are forms of other religions. Mithraism, Zoroastrianism and most recently Paganism are but a few that religion bit off of to form what we know today. I digress. We're not talking about religion; we're talking about god.

How do I know that god doesn't exist? It's simple, really. There isn't any proof that god exists. Since there isn't any proof that god exists, the logical conclusion is - god doesn't exist (that's why believing in god is faith-based). And, no, the bible isn't proof (it was written by man) nor is man, plant or animal the basis of proof (evolution and abiogenesis). I can use Ockham's Razor, anyway, to come to the conclusion that the concept of god is too complicated an idea to have been responsible for the creation of everything. There are plenty of reasons why I don't believe in god but the basis is - no proof. Sure, the possibility exists, as does the possibility that Zeus, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Thor, Vishnu, Krishna, Vulcan, Apollo or any number of other gods exists. They can exist as much as a China teapot orbitting one of the planets in our solar system or invisible unicorns. However, the probability of these existing is nil. And I say that with certainty.

[At this point, I talk about a test I took, which can be found at this link: http://www.philosophersnet.com/games/god.htm. It's an interesting test that tries to find contradictions in one's belief. You need to take it to understand.]

Now, as for my direct hits; I didn't have any direct hits. I did have to bite 3 bullets, which I thought were kinda lame. And did anyone notice that the test called god a "she"?

You claimed earlier that any being which it is right to call God must want there to be as little suffering in the world as possible. But you say that God could make it so that everything now considered sinful becomes morally acceptable and everything that is now considered morally good becomes sinful. What this means is that God could make the reduction of suffering a sin... yet you've said that God must want to reduce suffering. There is a way out of this, but it means biting a bullet. So you've got to make a choice: (a) Bite the bullet and say that it is possible that God wants what is sinful (to reiterate the argument here - she must want to reduce suffering; she could make the reduction of suffering a sin; but if she did so, what she wanted (reducing suffering) would be sinful). (b) Take a direct hit and say that this is an area where your beliefs are just in contradiction.

If god is all powerful and can control anything, god can certainly switch what is sinful to not sinful and vice versa. Thus, god could want what is sinful. But, if god changes what is sinful to not sinful, isn't it no longer sinful?

You stated earlier that evolutionary theory is essentially true. However, you have now claimed that it is foolish to believe in God without certain, irrevocable proof that she exists. The problem is that there is no certain proof that evolutionary theory is true - even though there is overwhelming evidence that it is true. So it seems that you require certain, irrevocable proof for God's existence, but accept evolutionary theory without certain proof. So you've got a choice: (a) Bite a bullet and claim that a higher standard of proof is required for belief in God than for belief in evolution. (b) Take a hit, conceding that there is a contradiction in your responses.

There is no certain proof that evolutionary theory is true. However, there is enough to warrant it as fact. Period. If we required certainty, wouldn't everything be questionable? I don't require irrevocable proof for god's existence. I simply require as much proof as I see with evolution. Just to be clear, gravity is a theory, too.

You've just bitten a bullet! In saying that God has the freedom and power to do that which is logically impossible (like creating square circles), you are saying that any discussion of God and ultimate reality cannot be constrained by basic principles of rationality. This would seem to make rational discourse about God impossible. If rational discourse about God is impossible, there is nothing rational we can say about God and nothing rational we can say to support our belief or disbelief in God. To reject rational constraints on religious discourse in this fashion requires accepting that religious convictions, including your religious convictions, are beyond any debate or rational discussion. This is to bite a bullet.

I don't say that god has the freedom and power to do what is logically impossible but those that believe in him do. If god is all-powerful, god can change the laws of physics, the rules of logic, anything.. god is omnipotent! He created the universe! If he can do that, how hard would it be to change the rules of logic and the laws of physics (it would be logical to say that he created those, too, right?)? Pesky questions like 'Can god create a rock he cannot lift?' seem to make things tricky though.

In reality, the questions, for me, should have ended as soon as I said False to the question "God Exists" because, frankly, everything else after that becomes irrelevant.

New Season! Grey's Anatomy

I don't watch a lot of television. There's really nothing worthy of my attention, say maybe a few shows. One of them is Grey's Anatomy. In fact, it deserves all of my attention as I think it's the greatest show on the airwaves. The cast, the writing, the music; they all make for wonderful drama. But the one thing that makes the show isn't what the show gives us, it's what we give to the show.

It's how we relate.

I once told someone how great Grey's is and how, if she only had a television, she should watch the show because it is good television. So she watched it. Online. And she dismissed it. And I wondered.. how can anyone dismiss such a show? It's brilliant. It's touching. It often times makes me so emotionally charged, I have to blog about it.

Then I got it.

It's not what Grey's has that makes it such a great drama. It's what we have in ourselves that makes it a good drama. And most people don't realize that the show plays on our own experiences, our own feelings, our own dilemmas to make it what it is. The reason why it (and other shows of its caliber) is so good is because we can relate to each storyline, to each character, to each emotional dilemma. We are what makes the story so good because each storyline is within us. Our own lives fill in the gaps, smooth the corners and dot the i's. We are apart of the storyline and we don't even know it. It's because we can relate in such minute and subtle ways.

We get it because we've experienced it.

When one dismisses a show like Grey's Anatomy, one does so because life's experiences may have eluded him or her. He or she may have not experienced life in the way most of us have, or not enough of it anyway. He or she.. may have been sheltered. And, in being so, just doesn't get it.

Or, he or she is just an insensitive, left-brained git. (I say that because I'm more right-brained)

It isn't really about Grey's Anatomy. Any well-written, well-acted drama does what Grey's does. That's credit to the writers and producers of the show. But the real credit goes to you and me. We are why the show does well. Not because we're told it's a good show but because we get it. And we get it because we've lived our lives to some degree and can relate to the themes.

And that's why Grey's Anatomy is brilliant.

Never..

Hit on a married bartender, when you're drunk, who is having troubles with her marriage.

Because, she just might take you up on your offer.

I certainly don't need that kind of madness again.

Last night at Cinespia!

So yesterday was the last official night of Cinespia from what I understand (there will be a Cinespia for Halloween the week before or so -they're going to show CARRIE! So. Awesome. And I will be there) and my friends and I were there for early imbibing and general discussion (at the moment, it's about their married-couple friends Joe and Shannon. Not very good for Joe I might add).

So, as we stand in line on the sidewalk on Sunset Blvd listening to some Mexican stripmall church performing music that sounds a lot like Ozzy Ozbourne (Crazy Train) and Black Sabbath (Iron Man) in the background, while drinking Shiraz from lovely glass (heavy glass!) cups (not appropriate wine glasses), I spied the chick I met online whom I went out on a few dates with (again, DEATH RACE is NOT a good date movie).

Talk about awkward.

I immediately made myself look busy by looking up at storefront signs, the forming moon, the church playing Ozzy-Sabbath music; stuff one does when trying to look busy while not being noticed by said past-date chick.

So time passes and we're ushered into the cemetery (yes, cemetery, because that's where Cinespia is! Duh!?) and all is right with the world. We find our spot in the back, as always, and lo and behold the chick AND her date walk up nearly next to us and scope out areas of grass seating.

Shit! What the fuck do I do now? (One of my friends said I should have shouted out, "I'd fuck that bitch there," to which I said, "Umm, no.") So, again.. signs, waning moon, palm trees (in lieu of church and crappy songs). I think she saw me this time because they bee-lined it to the other side of the field.

So just what the hell does one do when they see someone whom they had a few dates with but never really talked to again (not my fault. She's the one that stopped correspondence. Bitch.)? Should I have gone up to her and said, "Hey, [her name here]! How goes it? Is this the new cock you found on [dating service here]? I see he's better looking than you! Good of you to move up in the world." ...or...

"Hey, biatch. What's up with not calling or emailing back? You know I needed weeks of therapy for that? Don't you think it's considerate to at least close off an open port of communication? My mom had to bake me cookies for days on end just for me to get over you! Oh the horror!"

I think the second one would have been funnier. Of course, the-Hey-I'd-fuck-her! comment, in hindsight, seems most funniest though the most crude. Of course, I didn't point her out to any of my friends because, frankly, they don't need to see who she is nor do I need to make myself more obvious. Live and let live, I always say.

The movie was great. Sergourney Weaver was just sooo hot and a strong chick, which led to feminist jokes with another, female, friend. Of course, she's somewhat feministic herself, just more hot and realistic. Later, as I apologized for any jokes that may have offended, she simply said that if she thought I were being serious, she'd have kicked my ass. With her really cute shoes.

Photographs: A Train Ride

So there was a slight accident with Metrolink this past week. A couple of trains were derailed, a few people were hurt, a couple were even killed. These things happen and shouldn't scare you away from riding the train! [Please.. put your sensitivity in check, would ya? Umm.. No.]

I arrived at the train station around 9:30am. I was a little early, but I wanted to take in the atmosphere of a real live train station. I hadn't taken a train anywhere since I was a younger lad (and in another country even!) so I was actually excited to be off on this adventure.

I always thought Los Angeles was heavenly. It is the place where we go to after we die. [sarcasm: off]

So, the train came and we all boarded (all four of us at the station. Two Korean tourists and some skater kid. Oh wait.. I think a transient woman came at the last minute). I was so jumpy with glee. I'm on the train!

I took a few pictures as we moved, going towards the great city of Los Angeles. Mind you, I could have driven into LA from the OC but that would have cost me more than the ticket, actually. $8.50 for a round trip and I can use it on a bus ride as well. A gallon of gas was 4 something and I'm sure I would have used a few gallons.

The trip wouldn't have been right if there wasn't any graffiti to be seen along the way.

The Promised Land®. It looms over the horizon like.. well.. a city. Duh!

The hallways that lead to civilization. Or to another train. One of the two.

I took the subway, which cost another 5 bucks for an all-day pass, to China Town. AN ALL DAY PASS for FIVE firggin' bucks. C'mon. I could have gone all the way to Pasadena if I wanted to. Anyway, there's good food, clothing and some really nifty gift ideas to be had in the CT. I ended up walking back to Union Station, which is where I came from to get to CT. Hmm. Anyway...

I walked back to Olvera Street, which is right across the street from the train station. Talk about cool. This place is pretty much the center of Los Angeles, the birthplace even. I haven't been here since the 4th grade. Srsly.

Here I am exploiting the natives while they dance. Talk about Dance Dance Revolution.... without the revolution. Give Mexico back Los Angeles. Oh.. wait.. they have it already.

So I jumped onto the Red Line and headed up to Hollywood. A friend was out that way and I thought I'd meet up with him. In the first pic, I'm just lounging. The second pic is a stop on the way. Again, we in the OC don't have the luxury of subways. Just shitty busses. With shitty people. Who smell like shit.

I met up with my friend and we kicked it at The Pig and Whistle. A swanky little joint I must say. I started with a vodka martini, very dry, and after that I had a single-malt scotch. After those I had a few (too many) more drinks. The bartender, whose name escapes me at the moment (it started with at 'T' I'm sure), was very cute, very friendly and had a few shots with my friend and me. I'll be taking the train more just to hit this place up, that's for sure.

So it's back onto the subway. Destination: home. But I have to get back to Union Station, first.

Here are some interior shots of some closed off areas in Union Station. I had some time to kill and the alcohol consumption was kicking in (and kicking my ass) so I lounged around a bit. I will not be doing that again. Oh, who am I kidding?

Rawr! Oh, please. Like you've never done anything silly within a photograph before. Like hold up the Leaning Tower of Pisa or squished your mate's head. Or taken nudie.. nevermind.

A photograph of the 5 freeway at dusk. I didn't know the guy would be in it but it was a happy accident. Thinking back.. I should have put myself in the photograph.. next time.

Another, better photograph. Person free.

My train for the ride home, in the station.

It was a wonderful day. I even bought a suit at this place on Hollywood Blvd. Black, pinstripe, single-breasted three-piece. I'm wearing it into town the next time. It goes well with my hat.

So, don't let a few mishaps dampen your potential train riding experience. The Metrolink is the bomb diggity and I mean that. Not only is it a fun and memorable experience, it saves you a shitload of money on gas. Plus, there's no worries about who's going to drive, where to park, none of that shit. Good times.

Some things..

So.. let's see.. One never really appreciates life until after so miserably bombing, committing suicide would be a step up. I kid, I kid.. Suicide is more lateral.

I so fucking bombed tonight I just walked off stage without even finishing what couldn't even be considered a set. It's even lower than being a noob. Noobs just go - they take it all the way. I.. well, lower than noobness. I'm newbie noob. For those that don't know, doing standup comedy is on the level of doing Einsteinian (none of that Quantum bullshit) physics calculations, it's that difficult (okay, maybe not, but.. it's hard.. okay?). One week, you may get a laugh, the next week, you may not. In this case, my night was the latter. And doing it in a pinstripe suit where I looked like a 30's mobster doesn't make it any easier.

I don't know why I just completely froze up - I just wasn't ready for the costume yet, I'd like to think. But, I'm at the stage now where I can handle it. Normally, I'd dwell over it for days until someone would say.. get over it.. then I'd dwell just a bit more until.. well, the universe collapsed onto itself (on a side note: CERN is about to create their own Big Bang. Can't wait to get swallowed up into a mini blackhole. Damn Swiss). I can laugh at myself. Now if I can just do that with normal, everyday things in my life.. like.. well.. everything else in my life.

Just got my car back.. Yay for me! I can't tell you how much going back to an 8 cylinder vehicle feels so good after driving a 4 cylinder one. Don't get me wrong, a Ford Focus is great on gas mileage but it wasn't doing anything for my social life.... not that my Mustang is doing anything for it either but it does sound nice and it has a cool paint job. It has that going for it.

This past weekend I had the most awesome sunday. I took the train out to Los Angeles.. That's a big deal when you live in teh OC (bitch). Then I took the subway out to Hollywood, met up with a friend, had a few (too many) shots, flirted with the bartender (I seem to have a thing for pretty bartenders.. When will I ever learn?) and then bought a suit on the way back. It was definitely good times. I'm a big proponent for riding the train as a means of alternative transportation. I now have a way of getting to Hollywood for cheaper than a few gallons of gas and parking. Metrorail, you rock!

Anyway, I have photographs of my journey so I shall post those up soon. Dude, it was just fucking awesome. So. Much. Fun.

Holy fucking Christ. If I had used this as my material, it would have been fucking hilarious. I wouldn't even have had to make fun of a feminist.

Final note - watching The Matrix for Philosophy class. I got so much out of it this time round. Who knew education would be that useful!? And if no one caught the nod to Baudrillard in the beginning, I did. Those goddamned fucking Simulacrae.

Watch for the photos.

Prop 8 is teh ghey

Something we have on the ballot this year is Prop 8. The following is ALL of its text, which will effectively amend California's Constitution to ban gay marriage:

"Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid and recognized in California."

It is the same text that Prop 22 had - except that it violated the State Constitution. The People's will does not trump the State Constitution. It's the other way round, folks.

So now they want it to be in the Constitution.

Vote NO on Prop 8. This is a moral issue. Moral issues should not be dictated to me by the State, nor should it be dictated to me by the religious right wing, who support this amendment.

If this is what it means to have "Family Values" then fuck 'em.

God and government do not mix!

It's one thing when some nobody down the street starts claiming that it's the will of god that we were sent to Iraq - I can ignore a loon like that - but it's another when a VP candidate starts spouting shit like that.

According to an AP news article (Palin: Iraq war 'a task that is from God'), Palin is said to have addressed ministry students saying that our going to Iraq is god's plan, that "our national leaders are sending them out on a task that is from God," and that "that's what we have to make sure that we're praying for, that there is a plan and that plan is God's plan." Absolute BULLSHIT. Your position, Governor Palin, is not to be used as a pulpit for religious zealousness. That's abuse of power and(!) taking advantage of people whose beliefs you are pandering to.

Also, she said it's god's will that a $30 billion pipeline be built to transport natural gas to the mainland and that everyone should pray for it. God's fucking will. Are you kidding me?! What does god need a fucking pipeline carrying natural gas for? God's will my fucking ass.

This talk has no place in government. Atheist or not, I have strong feelings against government mixing with religion. This is a nation diverse in religious beliefs. What makes her beliefs more important than the Muslims', Jews' or even Pagans' beliefs? If we have a VP like her as the second in command, how will her beliefs affect her actions in office? An evangelical Christian is one thing, an evangelical Christian using her position to spout religious rhetoric is another. We don't need that anywhere near the White House.

Not only does this anger me, it fucking scares me.

Twitter anyone?

Hey - to the handful of peeps who actually read this blog -- and to those who happen to come across it. If any of you are on Twitter (www.twitter.com), email me! I'm looking for friends to follow as well as to enrich lives with tidbits of absolute nonsense.

cvb.blog (at) gmail.com

Glendale is the shit.

I'm really liking the place. Take away all the armo's driving their Mercedes Benzes bought from selling food stamps and the place would perfect.

I was out at a buddy's place with my guitar & amp and 18 bottles of assorted beers in tow. He had his bass guitar out.

It's good to be making music again, even if it's just to fuck around. It's good to be creative.

Oh Looky Here! A Woman Republican Veep!

Wow, Mr. McCain! You pulled a fast one! You overlooked Mitt Romney and bee lined it straight to Alaska to choose a Republican woman as your running mate. You had to jump on that bandwagon, huh? Think you'll pull in all of those stragglin' Clinton hardliners by bringing a woman up to the platform with you, aye?

Ultimate fail, douchebag. What, did you think that having a woman is enough to capture the undecided votes found amongst the Clinton dems? That you'll pull some of those 18 million cracks off the glass ceiling to rain down on your busy campaign? Let's take a look at your running mate, shall we, Mr. McCain?

Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska. Republican. Anti-abortion pro-lifer. Lifetime member of the NRA (ok, she gets brownie points for that one). Gov. Palin is not a liberal. She's as conservative as they come. A conservative evangelical Christian. To say her autistic child is a gift from god is simply a terrible thing to say. God doles out kids stricken with birth defects? Talk about Old Testament. Anyway...

So, a few reasons right there the left and center won't even touch her. And if you're a Clinton dem.. no, a FEMALE Clinton dem, you're going to avoid this woman like the plague. I'm guessing a high number of Clinton's supporters are probably anti-gun and pro-choice. They're highly in favor of liberal ideals. Duh. That's a no-brainer.

I think this was a poorly executed ploy by that old windbag to try and garner the votes of the disenfranchised and those who are bitter over Clinton's loss. He wasn't thinking about policy and procedure, of political experience (gee, what's he going to say about Obama now, since he can't use the oh, you're not experienced enough card anymore) or about his own party. Sure, he may get some of the new guard repubs.. But there are too many old guard, religious right repubs in the country who just won't get over the fact that his running mate is a woman. What happens if that old fart dies? I mean, he is in his 70's; he's the oldest man to ever seek the presidency. No country bumpkin hick from Mizzura wants a woman in the White House. He's shot himself in the foot. No female dem will vote for him and no neo-con whitebred republican will either. I'm very interested in seeing how this one's gonna turn out.

I heard Palin talking in a speech that she acknowledges Clinton's 18 million cracks.. but she's going to actually break through that ceiling. With what? A diaper and an NRA membership card? Srsly? Please. Don't quit your day job, guvnah. We don't need that kind of rhetoric in today's American society.

Better.. much better.

If you've never had that feeling where you did something really good and you actually feel proud of yourself then you're missing out.

I don't always feel that way but when I do it's fantastic. And, tonight, I felt that way. It's because I actually got some laughs for once after a good comedy set.

I need to pick on feminists more.

Miley Cyrus and I share a birthday..

Goody. I hear Miley is going to shut down Disneyland on October 5th to have a birthday celebration.. AND do it for charity.

So where the fuck am I going to go now for my birfday??! Bitch.

At least when Liz Taylor took over the park for her birthday, it was after hours. Maybe Miley doesn't want people hiding in the trashcans hoping to catch a glimpse of her taking racey shots of herself in the shower.

Death Race.. A sucky date movie

Not only did Death Race suck but so did the date. I should have just gone with my gut instinct from the the first go.

Now that that's done with.. time to move on to the next one. The next woman, that is.

First Dates

Often, first dates are wrought with nervous excitement, curiosity and a little doubt. If you've met the person online, there may even be a little bit of difficulty. I say difficulty because the person whom you may be meeting may not have the best or most up to date images of themselves online (if you have 6 year old pics representing your current self, you really need to retool your profile.. not that I'm saying this is the case for either the person I met or myself) and meeting for the first time can be awkward.

Not only is there a kind of fear in meeting, there is fear in where to meet. You should always meet in a friendly, open and well-lit area. It should be interesting and fun but not loud to the point where you cannot hear the person you're meeting, unless it's a movie. We met at Father's Office in Culver City.

Father's Office is a friendly, young and energetic "gastropub". In looking up the term "gastropub" I found that it is simply a pub that serves higher end fare. And certainly, the food is rather delicious. I had the seared Albacore tuna on a bed of cucumber slices with olives and a cilantro oil dressing. Very tasty. My date had the Office burger. It looked rather nice though I did not partake. It was thick, rare and the caramelized onions simply invited to bite into it with watered mouth. As well as the dishes, they serve a sweet potato "frite", or sweet potato fries, that are just to die for. I can't quite remember where else I've had sweet potato fries, but they are unexpectedly delicious. I couldn't help but eat most of my date's fries. My apologies to her for doing so. (fuck that.. I paid.. So I take the apology back)

What really sets apart Father's Office from other pubs is not only their selection of fine beers (at least a few dozen from what I could tell) - in the menu they seperate them into sections such as Hoppy and Sweet/Fruity - but their knowledge in pairing these libations with the food they served. Both my date and I had this awesome white beer that tasted very similar to this very nice white wine I found at a local wine bar I sometimes frequent. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you what the beer is (nor the wine, at the moment) but it's very fruity, very sweet and just lovely. Aside from this beer, I did have the Lindeman Peach Framboise (I prefer the cherry) and a Chimay (white label).

Sadly, I don't think my date and I connected. Certainly, we had good conversation, we cliqued on a certain level and I found her attractive but... the substance was not there. I cannot say for certain whether there was enough "data" to really make a judgement call but I think both she and I showed a lack of interest. And though I invited her to a screening of a film next week, I think we'll simply remain friends, if we remain anything at all.

However, my newly established love for Father's Office shall continue to grow as I cultivate my relationship with the place. I wonder if it's cheating if I visit the Santa Monica location as well.

Find info on FO at http://www.fathersoffice.com/.

Car Accidents Suck

Just like stupid people.

Retards..

Ok. So.. this article only proves my point that we, as a people, can't even say shit.

http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/va/20080810/121842511100.html

When the word 'retard' is used, someone gets offended. In this case, it's the Special Olympics, along with 21 other disability groups nationwide. And what are they going to do? They're going to boycott Ben Stiller's latest movie, Tropic Thunder.

Goody. Just what we need - a bunch of fucking retards boycotting a film because they refer to someone in the film as retarded. So fucking what? Do you think the real retards in the world actually care? Are there a bunch of kids with Downs Syndrome sitting around in a huddle somewhere going, "fuck Stiller, that fucking asshole! He can't use the word 'retard!' How inappropriate!"

Loosen up. It's a word. And does the movie actually refer to people with mental disabilities? Are they specifically picked out and picked on? Is Stiller actually pointing out these people and purposely making fun of them? No. I don't believe he is. We don't see people saying 'where's my baseball' (reference to What About Mary's retard guy) or people bumping into walls or drooling in any way in the film; it's a movie about making a war film, for Christ's sake.

I don't think people who are mentally challenged are concerned about whether or not they're thought of as retards. They're just trying to live their lives as best as possible. And, have you ever interacted with a person with Downs Syndrome? They're the happiest, carefree people in the world. They make people with positive attitudes look like Eeyore.

It's one thing to use the word 'nigger', 'chink', 'jap' or any other deragatory term; people who are called these can comprehend them. Then they get butthurt for being called something deragatory (and for the record, you can call me anything you want, make fun of my parents and lineage and call me a cracker-ass fat retard with bad skin. I don't care). But that's neither here nor there. The point is - people who are mentally challenged don't comprehend it so they're neither upset or offended by it. It is these groups that represent them that get all butt hurt. They're the ones who have to go out and boycott this movie. It is them that give meaning to the word 'retard' because they're reacting to it.

Let it go and it will mean nothing. You haven't even seen the movie yet (I heard about it through a collegue) so why the fuck are you making a big stink about it? Mr. Stiller, in my opinion, did not make this movie to ridicule mentally challenged people. He made it to make others laugh. And, last time I checked, there weren't any "special people" in the movie. They're just poking fun at someone who is slow. And there are still a lot of stupid people out there that equate the word 'retard' with someone who drools and wears a helmet while walking around with their walker. These people will make fun regardless of whether there is a movie or not that uses deragatory terms. However, I bet you that these people are a dwindling minority.

Political correctness is bad. It stifles, it dumbifies, it holds back free thought. And, as I've said a million times, people need to be offended at times. In this case, the supposed targets don't even know what's going on. They're lucky that they don't. They are, in my opinion, better off in a lot of ways than those of us who actually comprehend.

So, to the Special Olympics organization I say this: good for you to address this because YOU are the true retards. You're wasting your time with a movie that will do fine with or without your boycott.

A simple equation

((Beach sand) + (a volleyball )) / co-workers = a damn good time.

There is a high probability that I will be sore as fuck tomorrow morning. And there's something to be said about a farmer's tan. Sexy!

30 oz of pleasure

So a buddy of mine moved into a new apartment. After some errands I went down to check it out - boy is it nice. Looks can be deceiving from the front. It's frackin' huge. Very art deco, too.

Anyway, we hit the beers in the fridge (I think there were at least 18 bottles when we started. We ended with maybe 6 or 7) and finished off the last of his absinthe. Then a friend of his showed up and we all went down to Damon's, a hip seafood and steak joint with fine cocktails (and desserts to boot). I did not partake in the libations as I was already fucked up. I didn't need another. What I did need, though, was a fat 30oz prime rib, rare. Along with the very tasty tomato bisque, I was in heaven. I haven't had prime rib in over a year. It was almost better than sex. Almost.

It's funny because I didn't go through any of the horrid feelings I thought I'd go through after not eating meat for so long. In fact, I didn't even have a hangover this morning. The gods be praised.

So, the next morning (I passed out on his floor), after a brief conversation about how delusional some people who believe in god are (it started off about another friend of ours, actually, who is a co-worker of his) I set off for home. On the drive home, I spied a billboard from Atheists Alliance International. I guess there's an atheist convention in Long Beach coming up (which I may have to check out).

Location of the billboard: somewhere after the City of Industry (going southbound) off the I-5 freeway. It says: Don't believe in God? You're not alone.

My next tat..

Might as well get one before I'm forced to get one. I was thinking - the back of the neck but I already have a tat there.. so, this will go on the inside of my forearm. I'm debating whether to write the word the barcode is in the space or just take the space out altogether.

Ventura County FTW!

Yeah, boi. I sooo love teh Ventura County! VC FTW!

not.

I dislike any place where they charge gross amounts so I can access their beaches.

But, I hope to take advantage as I've brought my camera for some foe toe graffs.

I guess it's okay for scenic stuff..



Oh.. I've decided to make myself available for correspondence.. if anyone is, at all, interested.. cvb.blog (at) gmail.com. Please.. send any hate mail, requests for marriage, notes of fancy and all of that other hullabaloo there. I need a new ePenpal.

Humbled..

Firstly, I have to say I've recovered nicely from my bout of food poisoning, whether it was salmonella or not. It doesn't matter. The blood is gone as is the pain. I can now eat with comfort once again. The good thing about getting sick is that I lost 6 pounds. The bad, aside from the discomfort, is that I'll probably regain that weight within a few days.

So I was talking to my head writer this morning - he did a major production for Comic Con this year.. lots of video with interviews and such (they had the chance to meet Jennifer Connelly and I wasn't there. I must have done something wrong in a previous life. Terribly). Anyway, he's terribly proud of his work and what he's done to bring the site I command to where it's at and I dare say, he's done a fabulous job. It is because of him that I don't walk away from the project I started (I'm not too terribly interested in it. I never really was) almost five years ago. So, we were chatting on the phone this morning and, as he was telling me all that I had just summed up in this paragraph, he had imparted advice that I hear once in awhile but never really take seriously, though I know it's good advice and many seem to heed except myself. He tells me to do what I'm passionate about (he's passionate about film.... very passionate, and he thinks my passion lies on the same path as his. It doesn't). Then he goes on to tell me I should find a night job and work with him to do this more. I was unemployed for a year and a half doing it and I wasn't fulfilled. But, I know where he's coming from and it's humbling to see him doing something that he truly believes in. Something that drives and motivates him to claw his way towards his goal, his ultimate nirvana. And, he wants to bring me along on his ride. I used to think that it was I who was bringing him along with me but roles have changed and I'm now being dragged along on his coattails. And I'm cool with that.

But, he brings to me a point that seems to be a theme in my life. Do what makes you happy. Unfortunately, I've been unable to find that which makes me happy. The closest thing so far has been my official discovery of philosophy and my pursuit of higher learning in that direction. I'm sure, in time, I'll need to find a night job in order to fulfill one of my goals (it's not necessary that I share that at this moment) but that's not something I need to worry about right now. I think, and this leads me to another theme in my life, that the only thing stopping me from just doing what I should do is fear. But who isn't scared of actually chasing their dreams? Especially when one is already established (however established one is in indentured servitude, I should say) in one's life and has a level of comfort. Who wants to fuck that all up for the unknown? Most people don't. Those that do and fail should be commended and honoured. Those that do and succeed should be worshiped and treasured. They are the dreamers who make reality happen.

And I am humbled by that.

Comic Con 2008: Day 2

Not happening. I think I have some sort of food poisoning. Water shouldn't be pouring out of certain orifices like they are.

I'm miserable.

It sucks because there was a panel with my favourite author today - Dean Koontz. I'm pretty bummed.

So, to Basic (that bar I was at yesterday): your drinks are nice and so is Cindy the bartender, but your pizza sucks. (I know it was the pizza cos that's the only thing I ate yesterday)

ADDENDUM:

I think I may have been infected with salmonella. I think it's the blood squirting out of my ass that's the giveaway. So what the fuck do I do now? I don't even know who my doctor is, let alone where it's at. Oh well.. let's see what happens.

Comic Con 2008: Day 1

Day One, Comic Con and the freaks are out in full force. It's worth the price of admission, which is ZERO. It's good to have press cred's. Currently, I'm sitting in this place called Basic, on J Street and Tenth. As the name suggests, this place is pretty simple. It's sparse; it looks like it was a garage some time in the distant past. And now, there are two bars, a pool table (purple tabletop, very nice) and a very cute bartender. Very. (Note to self - you really need to get out more).

Anyway..

I sit here, drinking my overpriced single malt Scotch, watching the droves of fucking retards with their day-passes to the convention walking around in costume as tributes to some stupid animation on Adult Swim. Sure, I shouldn't bag on these diehard fans who live only to be Naruto or Pikachu or whatever.. isn't Cowboy Bebob totally dead? The only plus side to this is that there are a ton of geek girls.. HOT geek girls, dressed as their favourite characters.. scantally clad characters. Oh, the humanity. I even saw some idiot dressed up like Strongbad. C'mon, Homestar Runner was so 2006. Get with the present, for fuck's sake. Is it even still popular?

So the convention center is grossly overpacked with Clearasil-needing nerds, kids without parents (for the day - hooray for them!) and people who are either "Professional" or in the media (like myself). Hell, I even passed Margaret Cho on the street. She looked like ass.

But anyway.. I didn't get here early enough and I've been missing the panels I want to see. Hopefully, I can get into the Ghost Hunters panel at 3p.. I'd better hurry! But the conversation with the bartender is nice.

So, until next time!

Dot Dot Dot

It's that time again where students register for school and life becomes divided between academia and the 40 hour humdrum known as corporate America (aka, the American Dream).

I've realized that my life beginning in August will become dedicated to learning, dedicated to advancing and dedicated to being dedicated. I've always been apprehensive to the whole sacrificing my personal life in order further the rest of my life thing. It's been a hard journey.

I took one class last semester to see if I could do it. And, I did do it and I didn't even try. Now I've got two classes, a 40 hour work week, a personal life I'm not willing to sacrifice and a whole lot of other shit that I will need to juggle. And for what? To someday get that elusive degree I've been chasing my whole life? That piece of paper that will somehow validate who I am and give credence to what I stand for? To prove what is already known by my peers and me - that I'm an intellectual? (I hate intellectuals. They're stuffy, serious and lack any amusement. And they're pompous. I use the term lightly)

I guess the point is - I need to sacrifice something and that something will be my personal life. School will become my personal life. It will become my everything. The other aspects of my life will become secondary. Even my job, which I can't say has my complete and utter attention as it is. It will have even less.

If I'm to attain my goal, I have to sacrifice. I've got to suffer. It's not a new concept. I've suffered most of my life. What's a few more years? I just hope I won't succumb to the fear that so wonderfully dictates my life.

What is laziness?

la·zy /ˈleɪzi/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ley-zee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation adjective, -zi·er, -zi·est, verb, -zied, -zy·ing.
–adjective 1. averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion; indolent.
2. causing idleness or indolence: a hot, lazy afternoon.
3. slow-moving; sluggish: a lazy stream.
4. (of a livestock brand) placed on its side instead of upright. –verb (used without object)
5. to laze.

I'm lazy. I've been all of my life. I never really thought about why I was lazy. I just was. And when I didn't do something, I really just chalked it up to that and called it a day. It's something that isn't easily changeable and I've never fought it. If one were to ask me, I'd say that people don't change, we just adapt and react with intent.

Anyway, I was thinking about a conversation I had some time ago about laziness and I think I understand now why I am lazy (though I think this could possibly work out for many people). It's because I don't care. I don't care about anything. I don't care if I get my work done, I don't care if I go to work, I don't care if I die tomorrow. I really don't care. If I have to exert any effort, chances are I'm not going to care about what it is I need to exert effort for.

"I don't care" can be my catch phrase. My mantra.

Maybe I'm ADD. Nothing keeps my interest long enough for me to care about it. And, because of that, it takes great effort to do accomplish things I need to accomplish. Some things, if they touch me emotionally, will get more attention and more time devoted to eventually becoming boring.

Video games, chess and thinking too much are different, though. They keep me very entertained. But, these things don't really accomplish anything (well, thinking does but that's debatable even).

So, to me, laziness is borne from apathy. And apathy is borne from.. I don't know. This is the next step.

Oh what a day it will be..

Currently, it is about 10 till 2am and I'm just now getting situated to go to bed, but not before I place an entry in my handy dandy little blog.

Actually, I should be asleep now, dreaming of wonder and excitement, dreaming of grand futures and amazing pasts; I should just be fucking asleep, really. But, no, I'm not. I was out and about at a dive bar in Rosemead, CA., where there is a Chinese restaurant every 2 feet and they're all seafood (I gotta come back to check some of these places out!). The place: Spike's Bar and Grill. The night's theme: The Breakfast Klub. The band: Nocturna. See, I went with a friend who said we should go see this band because they're a Siouxsie cover band and Siouxsie is cool (everything before Peekaboo that is). They should be on at 11p but they're usually late so no worries if you are.. late, that is... he says to me (I'm paraphrasing, I'm sure).

Actually, despite the smokey, crowded environment (the clove cigarettes really added a touch of.. something), I thought it was a nifty place. Not to sound racist or anything, but I've never seen so many Mexicans that were either Rockabilly or gothic.. all in one place! Amazing! Seriously, I thought only white people were gothic.. or Emo. Taaaannnggeeennttt! I digress. (they're all a buncha poseurs in my book anyway.. wannabe's)

So, Nocturna starts out with their rendition of Israel. Then they go into another song I'm not familiar with. The lead singer, a total Siouxsie wannabe, actually sounded great; she just looked like a wounded monkey. With thick, black eyeliner. And a poofy wig. Which, I think, was actually her real hair. Her get-up was a little lewd (no, she didn't show anything but it was still lewd) but whatever. I didn't go to look at her.

They ended the set with Spellbound, which was really cool. I thought it was a great cap to a wonderful set. I also liked Love in a Void and.. and.. damn this being tired shit! I can't remember the song! Let's see.. I Heard a Rumour. That song was keen.. but the other one I really liked.. Damn it!! Damn it all to hell! Fuck! I wonder what it'd be like if I actually had a few to drink!

Anyway, it'll come back to me. So.. to sum up.

Rosemead: a shithole.
Spike's: a dump within a hole.
Nocturna: worth seeing in a dump.
Not having alcohol: just fine by me. I don't need it at that late of an hour. I want to wake up on time for work.

My friend and I are seeing them again in August. They play tomorrow, too, in Santa Monica.. Or is that today? Whatever.


Click Post and then to bed. Nite!

WTF??!

Maybe it's me but I'm thinking everyone's (and when I say everyone, I mean everyone I know..) pissed off at me for some reason.

Maybe it's because I didn't post a Purity Test (go here: www.puritytest.net) on a reasonable time table (I'll post my score later. I'm at work).

Maybe it's because I didn't go to someone's daughter's birthday and, subsequently, didn't help them with promo photos for their new hair salon.

Maybe I didn't return a phone call or two when I should have.

Whatever.. In a hundred years, who's gonna care anyway?

Edit:

Just took the purity test myself - the 500 question one.. A thousand questions is too many..

My score? 56.2%

I thought it'd be lower.

What Wendy's is Not...

Wendy's is NOT Vegetarian-friendly. No sir-friggin'-Bob.

There is NOTHING on the Wendy's menu that is even REMOTELY kind to a person who does not eat meat. Nothing.

Looking at the menu, there is one thing - a Caesar salad. Okay. I'll have that. So my question is -- WHO THE FUCK PUTS BACON BITS IN A CAESAR FUCKING SALAD??!!?!

Apparently, Wendy's does.

So if you're a vegetarian, don't eat at Wendy's. Because they suck. They're against mother nature. They hate little babies and they make old people dress up in leather boots and nothing else.*


I'm going to bed now.. sick from eating bacon bits. Damn it.




* Wendy's in no way makes old people dress up in leather boots (and nothing else) nor do they hate little babies. But they still suck.

What exactly is consciousness?

I was thinking, in the shower (because this is where I do most of my thinking), about consciousness. I've read many opinions on what we are in terms of chemical and electrical reactions. Our thoughts, decisions, actions; they're all based on chemical and electrical reactions in our brain. Does it come right down to that? A chemical reaction? My conscious thought, my intellect? It's a chemical reaction? Though it makes sense to me that this is all that it may be, I cannot quite accept that. I cannot accept that my being is simply a series of electrical pulses shooting between different synapses, of different chemical compounds interracting between each other. Well, I can accept it but I don't want to.

There are different philisophical thoughts about how we perceive reality. But how do we perceive ourselves? What is it in our minds that creates who we are? Is the statement, "I think, therefore I am" (I haven't studied Descarte to any degree. Yet.) valid? Or should it be, "I am, therefore I think"? In this statement, it is perceived that one exists and in one's existence, one is made up of chemical compounds that create the stimulus to think, process thought and perceive our own reality. Reality isn't the same for everyone. It can even be said that two people can perceive the same color differently. Neither are incorrect in their assessment. But it's still the same color.

I'm thinking as I write, so I apologise if things aren't so coherent. Again, as with so many other writings, it makes sense in my head.

The question still remains: is our consciousness simply chemical reactions within our brain that gives us intelligence, reason, thought and awareness? When we die, will that simply end? So far, with my belief system, I would have to say yes. I was not conscious before I was alive. I dare say I will not be conscious after my death. That is where I seem to have my difficulty. I will not be conscious after I am dead.

Maybe this is one of the true reasons why no one wishes to not believe in an afterlife or a deity. It is because they don't want to realise that life is a big waste of time (a waste of time in the sense that it is all for naught; that no matter what we do, we still die), that there really is no cosmic, grand scheme to it. We make our own purpose, we make our own reason, we justify our own life. This isn't a pessimistic thought. It is simply the way it is. To me. My reality. Yours may be different.

And I've gone terribly off tangent. But one can definitely see how my thought process works.

A haiku for your enjoyment:

Reality bites
Consciousness notwithstanding
Purple is not blue

A question..

I posed this question on Yahoo! Answers:

If one was raised in a non-descript room, never knowing anyone from the time of birth until adulthood, never coming into contact with another human, only knowing that something may be out there because that something is the supplier of sustinence and clothing (and education devoid of anything related to religion), would this one know the concept of god? Which god? Would this person think the hand that was supplying everything was the hand of god?

If this person was then introduced to people, how do you think this person would react?


I was thinking about how someone had once said that god (the Christian god, mind you) is known by everyone and that he permeates our being. So, I wonder - if someone was never introduced to any god, let alone the Abrahamic god, would they know god at all? If one was locked in a cage from birth and only knew the hand of their keeper, would they know god?

Some people are really stupid in that they can't think outside the box and come up with a relevant answer. Sure, this person wouldn't know how to communicate, unless the captor taught this person basic language (it's hypothetical, don't ask me how!).

Someone accused me of stealing this idea. I've never read Plato's Republic, though it's on my list of reading.

Anyway.. whatever.. right?

Each person can make a difference

You can help.



Though I've never used this hotline, I've been in the position where I could have used them. Luckily, I didn't follow through with the plans I had. I still think about it from time to time but I know that, if it comes down to it, I have someone, somewhere, to talk to that will help me overcome the temporary problem that would lead to a permanent solution. Help 1-800-SUICIDE help others.

Just when you thought it was safe to park...

A funny thing happened to me the other night. Well, it didn't happen to me as much as I was held up by something that happened.

I was at the Arclight in LA on Monday night. I was actually in the parking structure trying to find a parking spot to get to the Arclight when this happened. See, I was following some guy in an old Mercedes who, I just assumed, was also looking for a parking space. As we rounded another corner in this long trip through the building, this guy threw his water bottle out of the window and at a parked car.

How fucking rude, I thought. What a fucking retard. Who would blatantly throw their trash out of their window and at a parked car?? [don't answer that, it's rhetorical] So, my mind is throwing out different adjectives describing the fucktard driving his old Mercedes with, by the way, a license plate holder indicating his status as USC Alumni. I guess even good schools churn out stupid people.

So, I'm filling my head with obscenities about this guy and all of a sudden, he stops his friggin' car and starts yelling at some woman. Is this a domestic despute, I thought? Do these two people know each other? As I listened on to the guy rambling on, I saw the woman produce the very same water bottle previously discarded by this prick.

The guy was obviously pissed off. Did this woman steal his parking spot? Pee in his Cheerios? Turn him down for a date to take a tour of his glorious USC campus? I dunno but when he got out of his car to face this apparent spoiler of his good spirit I was, like, bring it down to a 10, dude!

I watched as this little man, balding and pudgy yet still young, address this woman somewhat face to face. I thought he was going to take her on, do something stupid. She stood her ground and her body language indicated nothing in the way of fear. It was almost as if she were mocking him.

As I sat there, watching this drama unfold, two things came to my mind: should I get out of the car and assist this young lady in her troubles and, dude, get in your fucking car and leave this woman alone.

I didn't get out of the car. And after a few moments of discomfort, wondering what this douchebag was going to do, he ended up getting back into his car. Yet, he was still yelling at this calm and collected, though mocking, woman. After a few moments of his childish ranting, I had enough. I yelled at the twit to move his fucking car. I mean, shit, he had blocked the way for at least 5 minutes trying to demean this rock of a woman. They both looked at me and I them. Then, in disgust, the man put his car into drive and took off. On a side note, should children be allowed to drive Mercedes Benzes? And should USC approach this wanker and ask him for his license plate holder back? Questions that I'll never know the answers to.

As I drove around and, eventually, found a spot to park, I wondered. Should I have gotten out of my car to help this woman? I mean, she didn't seem like she needed help but, still, I just sat there. This guy, though non-threatening in any way (in fact, he looked like a beady little troll now that I think about it), looked as though he was going to assault this woman somehow and I didn't want to get involved. Does this make me a pussy, even though I just didn't want to get involved? Is chivalry dead?

Then it donned on me that maybe this woman wouldn't have wanted help. Would she have chastised me for actually coming to her aid? Would she have been one of those feminist holier-than-thou bitches that thinks she could've taken care of herself in times of trouble (I'm sure she would have kicked this guy's ass if it came down to it. He was a fucking tard)? And if so, would she just have accused me of being a sexist fuck for thinking that she's a lesser person because of her gender? Because, you know, LA, particularly Hollywood, has a lot of these independent, feminist women around and about. And, don't get me wrong, I love feminists. They stand for something important. They're great. Just a little delusional.

I guess it still bothers me, almost a week later, that I didn't do anything for this woman. I could have just gotten out of the car, asked if there was a problem and told the little troll to go about his business; sometimes life isn't fair and we should deal with it in a calm and collected way and then move on. And if the woman was a feminist bitch, I would have just had to deal with it and move on, knowing that some people can never be grateful. There is a third scenario, of course.. I could have gotten out, helped and then gotten her number. Her number, damn it! And therein lies the rub... I could've gotten her number. Damn. Folly strikes again.

Oh, the movie you ask? Hancock. Media screening. Go out and see it. Just as you should go out and see Wanted. Two great summer flicks.