Dot Dot Dot

It's that time again where students register for school and life becomes divided between academia and the 40 hour humdrum known as corporate America (aka, the American Dream).

I've realized that my life beginning in August will become dedicated to learning, dedicated to advancing and dedicated to being dedicated. I've always been apprehensive to the whole sacrificing my personal life in order further the rest of my life thing. It's been a hard journey.

I took one class last semester to see if I could do it. And, I did do it and I didn't even try. Now I've got two classes, a 40 hour work week, a personal life I'm not willing to sacrifice and a whole lot of other shit that I will need to juggle. And for what? To someday get that elusive degree I've been chasing my whole life? That piece of paper that will somehow validate who I am and give credence to what I stand for? To prove what is already known by my peers and me - that I'm an intellectual? (I hate intellectuals. They're stuffy, serious and lack any amusement. And they're pompous. I use the term lightly)

I guess the point is - I need to sacrifice something and that something will be my personal life. School will become my personal life. It will become my everything. The other aspects of my life will become secondary. Even my job, which I can't say has my complete and utter attention as it is. It will have even less.

If I'm to attain my goal, I have to sacrifice. I've got to suffer. It's not a new concept. I've suffered most of my life. What's a few more years? I just hope I won't succumb to the fear that so wonderfully dictates my life.