No, I'm not a cripple..

(though I've been feeling like it for the last few days, after all the rigorous activity I've been partaking in).

So I was out in Westwood tonight.. just got back from a night of James Bond 007 action. The new flick starring Daniel Craig is a must see. Damn, he is by far the best James Bond since Sean Connery. Even better than that old rag Roger Moore. Anyway, I digress.

So, I get there at 7p and I sit all the way in the back in those seats reserved for the handicapped. Some people say that they're 'handicapable'. I say they should handi-shut-the-fuck-up.

Anyway, there's this old woman sitting in one of the seats across from me. It went down like this:

Old bag: Hey, are you handicapped?

Me: Uh, no?

Old bag: That seat is labeled 'handicapped'. It's for handicapped people.

Me: Well, if a handicapped person comes by, I will gladly give up my seat.

Old bag: Well, I'm handicapped and I resent you sitting there.

Me: Okay. You do that.

Movie plays, ends, I get up, leave and I end up running into Mr. Movie Fone. Again. Him and Leonard Maltin seem to be at every screening I go to lately. Fortunately, he didn't get overrunned (is that a word? I dunno) by the papperazzi that was sitting outside the movie theatre. It's fortunate, because I was bee-lining it to the parking structure right behind him. It does make me wonder who they were waiting for. Tangent. Not important.

Anyhoo, to the old lady watching Quantum of Solace across from me: why the fuck didn't you yell at the young lady, who didn't look like a cripple to me, that sat next to you midway through the film? I know - you were discriminating againsts me because I'm a man. That's it. A young man. It's okay. I'll be old one day.. and possibly crippled like you. Karma seems to work in mysterious ways. But, until then...

Nah nah nah nah nah nah! [tongue out / funny face]

I'm such an asshole.