I don'r know anymore..

I don't know who the hell I am anymore.

I need to stop, take assessment and figure out who the fuck I am. Life is too simple to make it this complicated. And life is too short to have to be doing this late in the game.

I'm going through a dark time. And I foresee it getting darker. I think there's something physically wrong with me but I can't see a doctor for another 3 months. I don't want to speculate what it is but I know there's something going on.

And it scares me.

There's only one person I want to talk to about it but I believe she is beyond me now. A friend that I lost because I was so busy trying to make something more out of it that, had I started at square 1, it wouldn't be this way, I think.

A word of advice to all.. you don't have to try hard at something that will come naturally. Desperation is a negative.