Happiness is...

Happiness is Canter's pickles.

And some of their pastries.. but their pickles rock.

William F. Buckley Jr...

A sad note...

William F. Buckley Jr has died. An eloquent writer and speaker (if one didn't absolutely kill themselves because he spoke so god damned slowly.. and that accent.. [cringe]), he was the mouthpiece for the ultra conservative, right wing fuckwads. He made Rush Limbaugh look like a pansy hippie.

Though conservatism and right-winged propaganda are not my fare, I have to give the man some props. He relished the win and so enjoyed criticizing more than praising. He was extremely intelligent, witty and gave the liberals a run for their money.

No, I won't miss the guy but... I'm sure someone will.

Now back to your regularly scheduled nonsense.

Nader, Nader, Nader!

So, Ralph Nader is running for office yet again.

I like Nader. I think he's a swell guy. Without him we wouldn't be driving safe automobiles or have a number of other protections afforded to us. He's an advocate for the American people. Because of him and people like him, we are better off in this dangerous world.

Because of Nader, I switched to the Green Party back in 2000. I voted for him in the last two elections. I know he will never win - too many people are just followers of the standard party lines - but he is what this country needs. He follows the principles on which this country stands. He believes that the power should be with the people; not the lobbyists, the special interests or the corporations. He believes that our government is frivolously spending money on idiotic bullshit. He wants Medical care for everyone (of course, Hillary did, too, but she dropped the ball and it kinda sorta.. disappeared). He not only talks the talk, he walks the walk, too. The man's brilliant. He is an advocate for true democracy.

I've been told that my vote was wasted because we knew he wouldn't have won. A vote is never wasted. It is my right to vote for any candidate I see fit (and Nader agrees, "Voting for a candidate of one's choice is a Constitutional right, and the Democrats who are asking me not to run are, without question, seeking to deny the Constitutional rights of voters who are, by law, otherwise free to choose to vote for me"). That's the beauty of a democracy. I do not follow party lines. I actually think for myself and make educated decisions. And though I knew Nader had as much chance as a snowball in hell of winning, at least I voted which is a lot more than what most people did last election day (I feel this year will definitely be different. It's a good thing). Also, I'm a big believer in principles. And as Nader has said in the past, he was not to blame for shifting the vote to Bush in Florida. The Dems were.

Though he is the proverbial David to the American public's Goliath with the only difference being that he's going to miss with that slingshot of his and get his ass beat down, I will most likely support the man in his bid for the presidency. And why shouldn't I? His interests are my interests. His causes are my causes. And whatever he doesn't know, there'd be advisors for that. Hey, look at George W. The guy is a first class baffoon (and it shows) and he's president. If anything, Nader couldn't do any worse.

And yeah.. I supported Jerry Brown, too. That guy fawking rocks, dude.

Just because the general public doesn't see them to be qualified or capable, doesn't mean they aren't. (Just look at the fervor behind Barack Obama - the man's great, sure.. but qualified? No.)

A final thought - there are more parties than the two out there. Please, please! Investigate them. You WILL see more than those two parties on the ballot this year (as with every election year) and you WON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE. Take some time to see that this is not a two-party system. They (being the majority parties, the lobbyists, the special interests and corporations) just make it that way so you have less power. Power to the people, baby.

Helium Balloons and I DO NOT Mix!

Today was a great day. I had been working rather tirelessly for the past few weeks in preparation for an open-house at work. I saw a few 10-hour days this week (which sucks cos I don't get overtime) and I'd been a little stressed. Luckily, I had a little stress ball to help me through it all.

We had a retired sports celebrity as a draw, with sports-themed decorations, a hotdog stand (goody, me being a vegetarian and all), a popcorn stand (goody, salty popcorn with fake butter), an ice cream cart (actually, this was a goody!), cotton candy (I didn't see where that went - and I didn't see anyone eat it.. I'm perplexed), nachos, sodas and all that is associated with sports. And, we had balloons. It was kinda cool.

I was sportin' my OG gangster suit. I was sharp, I must admit. I got my picture taken with the sports celebrity (I don't want to mention names), not that it mattered to me; it was just part of the routine. What I wanted was a signed picture for a friend of mine - he loves the team this guy used to play for.

So, it was all about running around and serving potential customers and being cordial and informative. The fun didn't happen until after the event was over and after all the patrons left. Just me and the sales force and a few technicians. And those damned helium balloons.

See, helium is a weird thing. When inhaled, it causes the vocal chords to do something strange, causing the voice to change in a radical way. And me, being the childish guy I am, couldn't resist inhaling a few balloons-full.

I couldn't stop laughing and soon the whole office was just laughing. At me. I haven't had this much fun in so long. I couldn't stop laughing, making jokes, being funny, just enjoying the moment. And picture a guy in a pinstripe suit prancing (okay, skipping) around the office with a fistful of balloons. Oh joy!

There was excess food in the name of hot dogs (again, where's the love for the vegatarian!?) and our beloved admin manager, T, was taking some home. We'd already been joking around and she said something to the affect of "I'm going to take so many hotdogs home I'll have hotdogs up my ass." I nearly fell over laughing. She's a cute, smartass, sassy Filipino woman. After people got it, they started laughing too. It was just sooo funny. She started yelling at me to shut up. Of course, she thought it was funny, too. I nearly died. Later, she said she wanted 6 hot dogs. I said "you'd better get one more... for your ass!" Laughter ensued. Of course, she's in charge of the sexual harrassment policies for the office. But she's more harassing than I am in every day situations. And I admire her for that. :-) Oh.. it doesn't hurt to flirt with the temp help, either. Good times.

The lesson here folks is - never let that inner child die. Laughter is a great thing and being childish, sometimes, is too. And if there are helium balloons around, you better keep them away from me.

Hmmph..

I want to start a band.

I'm listening to Lush, one of my fav 90's bands and I'm so.. shit! I want to start a band!! I know - it's taking my focus away from more important shit but fuck.. I want to start a band.

Miki Berenyi had such a lovely voice.

I guess I'll put it on the low-priority list. I have to get my bass fixed anyway.. and I'm not really a guitar player, though I have one... I'd need a new effects set. Flange and phaser with distortion and an EQ.. Oh my god.. I'm so..

Fucking lame! :-)


Well, back to Pandora. If you don't know what Pandora is, check them out at www.pandora.com. I swear they know every fucking band on the planet. I've been a listener of Pandora for forever. A couple of years to a fly is forever, okay?

Now it's playing Elastica. A fucking rawking band, I must say! Though I don't know why they'd play them on the Lush channel. Oh well. Good band. I've got the CD.

And if Siouxsie wasn't sold out I'd be there right now. Anyway.. enough of this babble.

-= EOT =-

I love this quote

I was watching a film called COACH CARTER on cable this morning. One of the characters threw out the following quote that just floored me - it's that fucking awesome.

" Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. [We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.]* It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. "

I found that it is by Marianne Williamson and the passage is from her book, A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles.

Just to note, A Course in Miracles is a spiritual learning program by Dr. Helen Schucman who claims to have dictated the course from Jesus. Normally, I'd find this ludicrous but it doesn't matter where the message comes from, it matters what the message says and if it's important and if it is something that will advance us.

* This part of the passage was taken out of the film's quote. Though I'm an atheist, the idea of God can be anything we want it to be, spiritually. It doesn't have to be what is assumed. It doesn't take away from the passage.

Goals and a positive attitude.

I've become a big proponent of positive attitude. Without a positive attitude, one cannot even get near the goals one sets.

Looking back, the past few months have been interesting. I set out to do things that I never thought I'd be able to do. These "things", as I put it, started out as ideas in my head which, in turn, became goals to accomplish. With my positive attitude, I am persuing these goals with a fervor I've not had in so long. Part of me is trying to prove myself to others who I don't think believe in me. But, mostly, I'm trying to prove to myself that anything can be done if one believes.

When I decided to get serious about fitness, I tackled it with a vengence. In eight weeks, I've lost about 15 pounds, gained about 6 pounds of muscle and I've made my goal date January 28, 2009 to be in optimum shape. I was watching a triathalon on tv while doing cardio at the gym (how apropos) and I thought to myself - I can do that. So, I've decided that I shall. And, in two years, I'll be ready for it.

I've wanted to go back to school for so long and I thought it was fitting that I start this year. The opportunity arose when I happened to check the local CC's schedule and found it could be done _now_. And I did it. And now I'll be starting a mid-semester online class soon. I'm back to it.

I wanted to tackle stand-up comedy. I don't want to be famous or anything (if it happens, so be it..), I just want to meet people and make them laugh. I want to discover what I'm capable of and extend myself passed my comfort zone. Though it's still in the "infant" stages, I've had so much fun doing it and I'm learning so much about myself. When I do my first act, I'll make a MySpace Comedy page. [snicker]

I'm not sure if I had posted what my "life's calling" is, my career path or whatever it's called. I am an immensely creative person. Rough around the edges, but creative. I know what I want to be and I'm now pursuing that. I've known for awhile, really, but have been afraid of that path because I didn't think it would be something lucrative or I thought I wasn't good enough. I've never been motivated by money. I was more concerned that I wasn't capable.

I'm more than capable.

I bet some feel I'm being terribly pompous. No, I'm not. I'm believing in myself. I can do whatever it is I want. And, I've proven that with just the few things I've mentioned. And it's only February. I've got so much more to accomplish for the year. And the great thing is - I'll accomplish what I set out to do.

Another funny evening..

It's interesting to receive some life lessons from an 18 year-old. I find myself being more open-minded to thoughts and ideas not readily my own. [Borat]Very nice![/Borat] The kid was cool, despite his Emo-ness. It's funny cos, I pictured him as a son if I had a child at a young age. Very scary, actually. Scary indeed. Does this change my mind into having children? Uhh..

No.

Anyway. I actually got up on stage to do some brainstorming of subjects. I got some great reactions and good feedback as well. I'm now working on my "routine". After the workshop, there's an open-mic and, again, lots of funny people. Afterwards, I talked to some of them and they're cool peeps. I was talking to this one guy who has an intriguing accent - I think it may be Eastern European - and he told me he could tell just by our brief interaction that I was a funny guy. Imagine that - I'm funny. God, this is refreshing! Absolutely fucking brilliant!

I need some sleep - I've been out too much this week and it's cutting into my beddy-by time. Well, I'll catch up on my sleep this weekend.. I'm off to the gym and then out for some fun.

And, time permitting, there's a script I want to finish. It's time I get onto the second draft. Plus I have ideas for another. Oh bother!

Oh! Oh! And my English book finally came in the the post. I'll be done with that in a week, I hope.

Valentine's Day

Oh, dread.. the day that Hallmark made absolutely important for women is coming up. I hate Valentine's Day because it's that one day women think they're entitled to something and men have to bend for it.

Fuck that. Why can't men think they're entitled to something as well? We've been taught, as men, that we have to give something to our girlfriends and that we have to spend all of this money doing so and women are taught to take take take.

I hate seeing pink, heart-shaped candy boxes, Tiffany blue jewelry boxes, greeting cards and commercials that say Diamonds are Forever.

When two people are in love, they should appreciate their partners every day. Not just one out of the year. At least, I'd appreciate my partner every day if I had one.

But I'm too cynical now to want one.

Too bitter to care.

Too angry to...

There aren't enough band-aids to patch me up, doc. Because, each time I fall I end up having to pick up the pieces.. pieces that won't mend. I don't want to fall anymore.

A Night Out..

So, I'm out at this bar tonight seeing a band in which a friend's boyfriend plays. Good sound, great beat, Spanish lyrics.. I can live with it.

My luck though -- all the women in the bar are lesbians.. No.. really. All the women were lesbians. And it wasn't even a gay bar.

That's what you get in the LBC.

Funny Things Happen to me

It's never a dull moment it seems. I had accompanied one of our sales people to a customer location out in "the hood". When I say the hood, I mean an area of town that's not the best location to send your children to school.. or be out on the street passed a certain time, like, well.. any time. But, there's this very prominent hospital in the area and they're a big customer of ours and we had a demo to do for them and blah blah blah. Needless to say, we had to be there.
So, we drive around the hospital and we finally find parking - a bitch to do because they're always full. We walk across the street, do our business and are on our merry way. Of course, during this time, we see lots of helicopters flying around, lots of fire trucks and ambulances (hey, it's a hospital. Who would question a couple fire trucks and ambulances?) and a plethora of Sheriff's cruisers.

So what the fuck is going on?

Oh nothing.. just a frackin' bank robbery down the street where the ARMED suspect got away and ran into one of the hospitals' facilities. No big whoop.

So, we're locked down. Can't leave the area cos the parking lots are roped off, the buildings are roped off and and all of the people are being cattled around. Great.

For me, it was just another day out of the office with some excitement. Helicopters are landing on the roofs, SWAT is searching door to door and well.. just a normal day in the hood.

Honestly, I had one of those morbid fantasies that, as I was walking down the sidewalk, I'd get shot in the back somehow as the perp was running away shooting at the cops and I'd fall to the pavement in movie-magic slow motion and people would crowd around me and the last words out of my mouth would be...

"Rose...bud"

Is it me..?

Or is there actually an adrenalin rush when you see the blue and red lights come on behind you just as you realize that it's a cop car?

Yeah.. and I talked myself out of it. I'm so glad I'm not drinking at the moment.

So I was coming home from my comedy workshop and it was cool to be stopped by one of the city's finest... little Asian cops around. But, who cares, right? I'll tell the story sometime.. anyway.. Comedy workshop.. Colder than fuck in the building, which by the way is in some strip industrial complex in the middle of BFE. That's the technical term for Fountain Valley, CA. After the class there was an open-mic event where 30 some-odd comics practiced their new stuff. I unintentionally heckled some New Zealand chick - I'm still sorry. I hope she's there next week - so I can actually apologize.

Homework is to come up with 10 topics to write from. I've already got a few. Let's just say that a lot of the other comics there have the same issues - self-esteem and women (some talked about men, but I'm not into that. Yet). I can't wait to not be funny in front of others. I need the uplift. Actually, getting a tough skin is what I need.. what I want. And fuck the fat chick who kept asking me stupid questions, even though she was rather funny. Toastmasters... puh-sha!

Changing subjects.. I'm feeling rather bi-polar at the moment and I'm swinging into the dreary zone.. I'm more angry really than depressed.

I wish people would leave messages when they call.

Things I now try to live by

I've compiled a list of things I try or do live by. It's not done yet. I keep finding new things to add.


1. Never make an opinion of someone based on what they say about themselves. Base it upon the things they do.

2. Always look for the positive things in people.

3. Never assume.

4. Be positive.

5. The mind is a very powerful tool. Use it to get what you need and where you need to go.

6. Don't sweat the small stuff.

7. It's your life. You own it. Take responsibility for yourself and what you stand for. Run with it.

8. Take some time to appreciate everything around you.

9. Only you can allow others to hurt you or get in your way.

10. Don't think you're so important. Remember, everything around you will go on with or without you.

A Night of Poker...

So, I was out in the Valley today just roamin' about. I was driving down Ventura Blvd, lookin' at the scenery which is pretty much restaurants, shops and either Arabs or Jews. I did see Danny Bonaduce (you know, Danny on Partridge Family) coming out of a liquor store with who I assume is his young son. His grey Toyota (either a Camry or Prius) was parked right outside. I wanted to yell out that I dug his show (he's a talkshow host on a local radio station) but I refrained. I didn't need to bring attention. The guy's pretty ripped. He was sporting a rather tight shirt. Anyway.. I picked up the new Kate Nash CD at Freak Beat. I really dig Kate - her music is fresh and I just love her Cockney accent.

So, I decided to stop by Commerce Casino for a game or two of poker. I ended up playing for close to 3 hours. I was, at one point, up over $50. I should have stopped there. I ended up leaving the table $9 down. Oh the horror. I must have won and lost over $300 in that time. The biggest loss was when I kept raising, thinking I had a pair of jacks and there was a jack on the board. I don't know how I confused my pocket queens for jacks. Oh the horror. The guy had a pair of aces. What a fuck. I lost a ton there... but, I won it all back and then some.. again. The next big loss was when I had pocket deuces and there was a two on the board. There was also an 8 on the board. I kept raising and when I flopped over my deuces, the guy next to me had pocket 8's. The fucker! I was just flabbergasted. Good hand, mate. Good hand.

So, apart from losing $9 and spilling my cran and soda, it was a lovely evening.



Oh, and on another note - I picked up this fabulous suit this morning..