Saturday, December 17, 2005

Chicago's the deal breaker

It was the trip to Chicago that made me realize that I did not want to live in California anymore.  Yeah, sure, it’s nice and all; the Southern California sun, the Hollywood celebrity scene, the fantastic looking, shallow fucking bitches that live for their BMW’s and Botox injections.  It’s all great, until you want to live a life that is semi-realistic.  I’m nowhere near Paris Hilton rich… hell, I’m not even near Gary Coleman rich.  Living in Los Angeles is not something that can be sustained on an 8-to-5 job without roommates or without working a second job at Wal-Mart.  And right now, I don’t have either.  

Chicago has its downfalls – one in particular is the snow.  Driving in the snow is terribly dangerous if you’ve never driven in it before.  It’s something like an acquired taste.  If you haven’t done it before you better do it slowly.  One time I was in Fairbanks, Alaska in June and it snowed the week I was there.  It’s not supposed to snow in June, from what I understand.  What the fuck was nature thinking?

Of course, Los Angeles has the culture, restaurants, the beaches, the nightlife.  Chicago does, too.  Well, except for the beaches of course, unless you want to hang out at Lake Michigan.  

It really isn’t that Chicago is the place I want to move to, it’s because it’s the most tolerable and socially acceptable place I’ve been to.  Sure, San Antonio, Dallas, Seattle (hell, even New Jersey was decent) and some other places were nice but Chicago has a charm that I can’t seem to find anywhere else.  

Plus, I want to start anew.  Not having a place I can call my own and having an ex-girlfriend that I still have feelings for, there really isn’t anything left here that I want to deal with.  It’s not that I want to run away; there’s nothing to run from.  It’s better to get away from it all and just reestablish myself and not have the stigma that holds me down like bricks on a Mafia snitch.  (Hey, Mafia reference, Chicago… gangster… yeah!)

Secretly, I wish I had someone I could just move here with (yes, I’m sitting in the airport typing this) and just root into society and begin again.  I wish things were that simple.

Another plus in moving here is the women.  They’re attractive yet down-to-earth and obtainable (not in an object sort of way, mind you).  They aren’t as shallow minded as Los Angeles women and are much more interesting.  Another plus – I can transfer in my company.  I’m sure I could get a position out here, even if I have to “downgrade”.  I just need a foothold before I go all willy-nilly in finding a new job.  

I just want to find my zone, my happiness… my life.  I want to be someone and it’s not happening here in So Cal.






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