The Last Day...

The Last Day..

31st March 2006.  It’s a Friday.  Sunrise for that day is 5:43am.  Sunset is 6:13pm.  By the time the last of the sun sets below the horizon line, I shall either be well on my way to getting my drink on or somewhat inebriated already.  I will toast to the job that has ended and embrace the new endeavours that will begin.  

I am not excited by the set date.  I’m, in fact, quite scared.  The past nine years I have woken up each morning at a set time, got ready and found myself at the place of my employment.  I have been very loyal to my employer, very faithful.  I am now jumping ship, if you will, abandoning the longest employment run of my life.

I can only compare this to a marriage.  Though I’ve never been married, I can honestly say it’s like one.  You make acquaintance, get to know and become comfortable with the job.  You spend a lot of time there, more time than anywhere else you can think of.  You commit to it, make plans around it.  You give yourself to it as it gives to you for your commitment (salary).  And now, I’m divorcing it.  Moving on to something better.  Taking a chance on something that may never pan out.  But I’m taking the chance.  Those that take chances in life are more rewarded than those who don’t.  You never know what could have lain ahead if you never took the chance to find it.  Those that take the easy way will never know the brilliance, the joy of risk.  Even in failure, risk is good.  You learn about yourself and your shortcomings and strengths.  You learn from them and succeed elsewhere.  

Thinking back to the ex, I feel she didn’t take the risk, the risk of being with another whom she loved and was loved back by.  She took the easy way because fear is comfortable.  But it’s also a hindrance, an excuse not to learn, an excuse not to experience life.  Her husband, too.  He didn’t take the chance to find himself, to better himself.  He simply took her back as the easy solution to a complicated problem.  What he could have done was move on, better himself and find it inside him the strength to change for the better.  Instead, he not only failed himself, he failed those around him.  Both of them are losers, weak and failing.  And that is why I am so much better than they can ever be.

I still have a long way to go, but I’m on the right track to becoming someone better.  I’ve moved on and am always trying to find the ways and means to become a better person.  Looking within myself and to others for guidance, fulfillment and strength.  I change because I want to.  I adapt because I can.