Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Looking back, and looking forward.

It's been a long time.

A long time has passed since my last post and much has changed in my life in that time. I have since accomplished small feats that I find amazing, the most being that I received my bachelor's degree. Though, I still don't know how to market a philosophy degree. But, that's something one would be able to ponder, having a philosophy degree. A conundrum, indeed.

Girlfriends come and go. Currently, I am seeing someone who, on one level is fulfilling yet, on another level, is completely draining. It is beginning to take a toll. I'd like to move on but there seems to be something within me that is stopping me from being a complete asshole. People say that my happiness is of utmost importance. I guess my happiness is just around the bend, waiting for me to make the decision to rid my life of those pesky burdens that hinder forward movement. That is where I reside, in the house that burdens me. I guess this is karma and I was terrible in a past life.

Moving forward is a hard thing to do, especially when one is stuck in a proverbial mud pit, unable to move any direction. And while I am immobilized, everyone and everything moves forward without me. I've often thought about what I ought to do versus what I am doing and, while I won't admit to what keeps me from moving forward, I do know what the problem is. All I will say is it does reside within me.

This is all rambling. In another 10 years, I shall be more prepared to write something that is better suited to the medium at hand. In the end, all I wanted to do was say hello and that I'm still here, suffering in my own self-induced hell and that I hope one day to pull myself out of it. That's the forward-looking I was referring to.

How's that for positive thought?

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