I'm absolutely done with family members who pry into my private life. Now my grandparents think I'm an irresponsible slacker who just gets drunk all the time.
I don't get drunk all the time, but maybe I ought to start.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Friday, October 05, 2012
Wednesday, October 03, 2012
OMG Finally.
Yesterday I saw a school counselor to assess my progress because I want to transfer to a university. Currently, I'm enrolled in a local community college. After so much time.. SO much time, I'm at the verge of being able to get into a "real" school (I know, comm colleges ARE real schools. You get me though, right?). Just one more class. ONE MORE. I walked out of the counselor's office feeling pretty good. Relieved. Overwhelmed.
I have one more class to go. And that class is... a math class.
I hate math. I'm not good at math. Well, the reality is: I have no patience for math. I don't want to have to understand theorems and postulates and I hate word problems. And I don't like the instructor. But, regardless of how I feel, I need to pass this course.
Anyway, I filled out my transfer application this morning and now it's a waiting game. So, there's a lot of anxiety. I need to pass my math class and.. I'm stressing over thinking I may have flubbed the application.
If the earth could open up where I sit and swallow me whole, I'd be happier.
The thing is, I've been waiting for this moment for a really long time. I've put myself through hell and sacrifice to be in this position. Some might think that I've got it easy. I don't think I do but each one's perspective is always going to be different. Hell, even my ex-girlfriend thought I wasn't really taking it seriously. To her, I say "fuck you". Cunt.
So, now, here I am. Waiting. Anxious. Hoping.
And worried. Worried because, when I do make it into uni, I won't know what to do next. This has a lot to do with my living situation and how I absolutely HATE it here. I hate it because my life has to be planned around the activities and lives of the people I live with. My independence revolves around them. This means... I must regain my independence. I cannot be a full-time student and cater to the ridiculousness of this house.
While I don't have any idea what I'm going to do, I do know Craig's List has a Roommate's Wanted section. I'm starting there.
While I've made a lot of bad choices throughout my life and I have many regrets, I can't change anything in the past. All I have is the now. And the now fashions what my future will look like. I don't want the future to be what it is now because I hate the now.
Time for a change.
I have one more class to go. And that class is... a math class.
I hate math. I'm not good at math. Well, the reality is: I have no patience for math. I don't want to have to understand theorems and postulates and I hate word problems. And I don't like the instructor. But, regardless of how I feel, I need to pass this course.
Anyway, I filled out my transfer application this morning and now it's a waiting game. So, there's a lot of anxiety. I need to pass my math class and.. I'm stressing over thinking I may have flubbed the application.
If the earth could open up where I sit and swallow me whole, I'd be happier.
The thing is, I've been waiting for this moment for a really long time. I've put myself through hell and sacrifice to be in this position. Some might think that I've got it easy. I don't think I do but each one's perspective is always going to be different. Hell, even my ex-girlfriend thought I wasn't really taking it seriously. To her, I say "fuck you". Cunt.
So, now, here I am. Waiting. Anxious. Hoping.
And worried. Worried because, when I do make it into uni, I won't know what to do next. This has a lot to do with my living situation and how I absolutely HATE it here. I hate it because my life has to be planned around the activities and lives of the people I live with. My independence revolves around them. This means... I must regain my independence. I cannot be a full-time student and cater to the ridiculousness of this house.
While I don't have any idea what I'm going to do, I do know Craig's List has a Roommate's Wanted section. I'm starting there.
While I've made a lot of bad choices throughout my life and I have many regrets, I can't change anything in the past. All I have is the now. And the now fashions what my future will look like. I don't want the future to be what it is now because I hate the now.
Time for a change.
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