It's a new year. Already?

A new year and still the same old shit. It gets me sometimes that people often treat the passing of one year into the next as a means of starting over. To "start things anew."

I think it's bullshit.

Call me a cynic, a party-pooper, a Debbie Downer, I don't care. I am pragmatic. There is but one beginning and one ending with a linear timeline on which we traverse between those two points. There are no new starts or new beginnings to bad endings. Just points where one stops on the timeline, makes a modification and moves on. Sometimes, we refer to these as "resolutions."

I fail to see why one must wait until the 1st of the year (or week, month, whatever) to begin changing "for the better." Why can't one just change now? Procrastination is not a good thing, unless it's something one doesn't want to do in the first place.

I've been known to have these resolutions. Get thinner, be a nicer person, move out of this retched home... yes, I've had these as resolutions. But, in the end, it is a setup for failure. Why? Because there was never any intention of changing or fulfilling these resolutions. Time and effort was wasted on doing something that, in the back of the mind, was considered almost impossible.

So, here I am. The start of yet another year. A year I know will be terribad. Another year where I suffer when I shouldn't have to. Another year where each day is concluded with the thought of either killing myself or those around me. Or both, but in the end I talk myself down from that ledge because there's something better waiting for me at the end of this path. Something that will make all of the suffering worth it. Something greater.

At least, that's what I tell myself before I fall asleep. Because, if anything, each day is a new beginning and if one is going to change for the better, it should be the sart of each day. Not each year, or week or month. I don't know from which part of my arse I just pulled that out of but it sounds good. So, I'll stick with it.